Love and Hate
by wildbats
Summary: Nick and Greg have been a couple for a few years when a hateful turn of events changes everything about their relationship. One will never be the same again and the other has to learn to live with these changes.- Slash Nick/Greg story.
1. Mistakes Ch1

A/N- For those of you who have read my previous fictions, this one is a little bit more overall relationship based, with still a lot of angst...my favorite thing to write. Please review and let me know what you think so far. This is an established relationship in the story.

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It was their 3-year anniversary being together. Greg was sick of keeping their relationship a secret. He knew his co-workers would not have a real problem with Nick and him coming out as a couple. The problem was Nick figured if they came out to them then the word would spread and eventually his family would find out.

Nick basically thought of his family as homophobes and if his dad were to find out they would disown him. He could not bear with the loss of his family.

"Come on, Nick! Do you really think they would hate you like that? They are your family. They should love you no matter what. My parents do," Greg argued with him after a nice dinner Nick had planned at his house for their anniversary.

"Greg, you are their only child. I'm sure you could do no wrong in their eyes. My family, well I have a lot to live up to with my dad being a judge and all. You just don't know what it was like growing up in Texas."

Greg stood up from the table and started pacing. "I'm sick of having to hide our feelings from everyone else. I'm sick of having to go home in separate cars when we both usually go to the same place. We should be officially living together at this point. I've been patient for three long years now but I don't think I can anymore," he said exasperatedly.

Nick looked down, shaking his head. "I just can't yet. I need more time to think this through on what I would say."

"You've had three years, my God! I can't keep hiding like this," Greg yelled, his anger finally reaching its breaking point.

Nick looked up and saw the rare anger in his lover's brown eyes. "I'm sorry, G. You know I love you but give me a bit longer."

Greg shook his head and sighed. "I need to go out and let out some of this steam. I don't supposed you want to join me for a dance out in public?"

"G, you know how I feel about going out," Nick sighed, knowing he was not making Greg any happier.

Greg stared irritatedly at Nick. "I know, God forbid Nick Stokes get caught dead in a gay club. Well, if you change your mind you know where to find me." He picked up his empty plate and glass and put them in the dishwasher before disappearing momentarily into the bedroom to change.

Nick sighed heavily and started cleaning up the rest of the dishes. He knew that Greg was right, he had to come out to his family if he was to ever really feel free to live his life but his overbearing fear of his father's reaction kept him from doing it.

He picked up the rest of the dishes and carried them over to the sink and started cleaning them. He was scrubbing a pan when he felt arms come around him from behind.

"Are you sure you don't want to join me?" Greg whispered in his ear as he rubbed against Nick.

Nick leaned back into Greg, breathing in his cologne, regretting what he was about to say. "No, you go ahead and I will see you when you get home."

He heard his partner sigh and then felt the loss of contact between them. "Fine, I'm going then. Jason and Aaron are picking me up. I will see you later."

Nick watched Greg leave and felt the distance that had slowly been growing between them in the last few weeks grow further apart.

Greg went to their usual hangout, Oasis. He had been frequenting the club and bar scene more often lately only hoping one day for Nick to be brave enough to join him. As he walked in with his friends, Jason and Aaron who were holding hands, he again grew jealous of their open relationship. Both of their families knew about their life together and even though Jason's parents did not approve, he did not care. Their love for each other was more important. Greg had hoped Nick loved him enough to be like that, but he guessed he was wrong.

"Hey Greg, that hottie over there is checking you out big time," Aaron yelled to Greg over the music. Greg finished off his third shot of tequila and looked over to where Aaron was pointing. The guy was tall with short dark hair and dark eyes. He was wearing a mesh t-shirt and tight jeans. He reminded Greg very much of his Texan lover. "He's pretty hot, reminds me of someone who's at home right now," Greg said with a little bit of fire as he ordered another drink.

"Hey you should slow down there, Greg. You know how you get when you drink too much," Aaron told him, his pale blue eyes showing some concern for his friend.

"I told you I need to let off some steam tonight. Just leave me be," he said as he picked up his new drink and looked back at the dark haired man still giving him the eye.

Nick went through all 175 channels he had on his cable and could not find a thing to watch. He kept thinking about Greg and how they should be together on their anniversary. He wanted to be mad at him going out but he could not be. He had asked him to come along and he refused.

He thought about how Greg was probably dancing right now and thought he should be there grooving against him, breathing in his essence.

"Damn it. I can do at least this much for him," Nick scolded himself. He got up from his couch and grabbed his car keys and went out the door.

He walked into the Oasis Club and searched the dance floor for Greg. He spotted Greg's friend, Aaron standing by the bar and walked over to him.

"Hey Aaron, where is Greg? I thought he was with you," Nick asked him.

"Yeah, he's here somewhere, perhaps in the bathroom. He was drinking a lot. Probably has to take a piss," he told him.

Nick thanked him and went to find the restrooms. He found a hallway that led to them. He opened the door and remembered why he hated going to these kinds of places. There were several men receiving blowjobs from others right there in the hallway. He walked further past some when one man's profile stopped him in his tracks. He closed his eyes, thinking they were tricking him and opened them up again only to see the shocking site. A dark haired man was giving head to Greg right there among the others. Greg's head was leaning back against the wall, with his eyes closed in pleasure.

Nick felt sick and furious at the same time. He could not stand there and watch his lover cheat on him, on their anniversary of all nights.

He ran out as quickly as he could to his car, panting as he reached it. He could not believe Greg would do this to him, drunk or not. All he wanted to do was go back home and calm himself down before Greg walked through his door for the last time.

Jason came down to the restrooms and saw Greg zipping up his pants as the dark haired he saw earlier staring at Greg, try to kiss him.

"Greg, what the hell are you doing?" Jason yelled at him. The dark haired man backed off as the taller Jason came to stand in front of Greg.

Greg looked blurred eyed at him. "W...wwwhat?" He slurred.

"Nick was here looking for you. Aaron told me and here you are getting fucked off?"

"Yeah Nick is right here," Greg poorly pointed to the stranger who looked a little like Nick.

"You damn drunk ass fucker! This guy is not Nick. Nick saw you with him, I bet, that's why he ran out of here."

Greg suddenly looked at the dark haired man, who had been slowly backing away from them. As he backed up into the light, Greg realized Jason was right. He turned to Jason, as a sudden look of panic erupted on his face. "What the hell did I just do?"

"More like who? You let some other guy suck you, that's what you did," Jason said curtly.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! I have to go home and explain to Nick. Aww fuck!" Greg buried his face in his hands.

Jason put his arm around his frantic friend and led him back to where Aaron was waiting for them. "We got to take him home," Jason told his boyfriend.

Jason explained to Aaron on the drive to Nick's house, what Greg did. Greg sat in the backseat, speechless and partially dazed as to what happened.

"Nick's never going to forgive me. He's going to kill me. I'm going to loose him," Greg thought to himself, wiping tears from his eyes.

When they arrived at Nick's house, Jason and Aaron decided to wait outside a few minutes. They had a feeling things would not go well and Greg might need a ride back to his own place before the night was over.

Greg walked nervously up to the door. The reality of the situation he got himself into had sobered him up some. He shivered now realizing he had let some stranger give him a blowjob. He had been completely faithful to Nick all this time they were together. 'How could I have been so intoxicated and stupid to not realize what I was doing? I was mad at Nick but damn, that was no excuse to cheat on him.' He had just ruined the best relationship he had ever had.

He took out his key and unlocked the door. He walked in slowly and closed the door behind him. He came into view of the living room and his eyes met Nick's furious ones.

"Nick, my god, I am so sorry. I was wasted out of my mind and he looked like you. I thought…I thought he was you. Oh god. I am so sorry," Greg rambled out in a frantic voice, as he walked closer to Nick.

"Stay away from me, Greg. I don't know whom you've been with and I don't want to know. I want you to gather your things you have here and get out. I don't want to see your cheating face around here again," Nick fumed but stayed where he was seated.

He had already worked out most of his anger on his punching bag before Greg arrived. Otherwise Greg would have been the one he was punching. He did not want to take it that far as much as he would have liked to.

"Nick, Please! I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. I won't go to clubs anymore. I swear. I will stay here with you. Just please, don't do this," Greg pleaded with him, his face showing the emotional pain he was in.

"You know what? Maybe you did us a favor. You keep pressuring me to come out to our co-workers and my family when I am not ready to. Perhaps we just aren't meant to last. It was nice while it lasted but perhaps it is time to move on. You've already started or perhaps this was not the first time. Maybe that's why you're always happily going out without me so some random guy who reminds you of me can fuck you. You make me sick," Nick spat out in fury.

Greg felt devastated. "Do you really believe that I am like that?" He asked with disbelief and sadness.

"You tell me, Greg. Was he your first or one of many?"

"It was a mistake, a horrible mistake I'll never forgive myself for. And I've never cheated on your before. I'll never do it again, either. I promise."

"It's our anniversary, Greg. You picked a hell of a time to make a mistake like that. Just get your things and leave before I do something I'll regret," Nick said through gritted teeth. He felt like knocking some sense into him with his fist.

Greg saw the dangerous look in his boyfriend's eyes. "Okay, maybe cooler heads will prevail tomorrow and we can fix this."

Nick shook his head. "There's nothing to fix. It is over."

"You mean you don't love me anymore?" Greg asked, not believing he could feel that way.

"I can't love someone I no longer trust,' he responded coldly. "Now GO!"

Greg felt a terrible ripping of his heart as he looked into Nick's cold dark eyes. "Okay, I'll get my things and go," he whispered as he fought back oncoming tears.

He quickly turned around and headed to the bedroom to grab his bag out of the closet to pack his few clothes and personal items he kept at Nick's house. He looked at the bed he shared with Nick almost nightly and felt his heart rip a little more. He bit back his tears and threw his few clothing items and other items out of the bathroom into his bag.

Nick could not deal with Greg being in his presence right then. He could not leave soon enough. He never believed Greg could betray him like he did on tonight of all nights. He noticed Greg emerge from the bedroom a few minutes later, holding his head down. He looked up briefly at him, his big brown eyes rimmed red and Nick could tell he had been crying, which was something extremely rare for Greg. In that moment of seeing him like that he felt a tug at his heart and almost gave in until the image of him getting a blow job from another man came flooding back into his mind.

"I'm going now," Greg said mournfully.

"Good, go!" Nick sneered.

Greg felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. He lowered his head in shame and went for the door.

"Leave the key on your way out," Nick assed bitterly.

Greg nodded and dropped it on the table on his way out. Greg walked out without looking back. He could not bear to see the anger and hate in Nick's eyes. He heard the door lock behind him as he walked to Jason's car.

"He's throwing you out," Aaron said to him more as a matter of fact. Greg did not say anything as he sat in the backseat with his arms hugging his bag.

Both of his friends could see that he was a wreck but they could not blame Nick. They both thought about how they would have reacted had one cheated on the other, but still Greg was their friend and he came first right now.

They drove him home and made sure he seemed okay before they left. He had said very little to them and then proceeded to tell them he needed to get some sleep.

When they left him, he threw himself down on his bed and sobbed himself to sleep.


	2. Hate Ch2

The next week at work had been hard and tension filled. Anytime Nick and Greg were in the presence of each other the room felt cold. Nick refused to talk things over with Greg. By the end of the week Greg had grown from being majorly depressed to being mad that Nick would not even give him a chance to talk it over.

Greg finished his case with Catherine before Warrick and Nick finished theirs, so he decided it was time to confront his former lover again.

He waited on Nick's front entranceway at his house until he came home. He knew there would be no way he could avoid confronting him that way.

Nick saw Greg as he pulled into his driveway and did not want to deal with him after the long case he had just finished working on. As he got out of the car and came to his door, he tried to push his way past Greg but he blocked his pathway.

Nick looked tiredly at him. "Look, I told you there is nothing to say. We are over with. Now please leave."

"How many times do I need to say I am sorry? Do you want me to grovel at your feet for forgiveness, because I will," Greg pleaded with him.

"That's not necessary because it will not work. It's only been a week since I saw you with that other man. I need time to try to erase that image and I am not sure I can."

"You need time for everything," Greg muttered under his breath, feeling irritated.

Nick heard him though and got mad again. "Look, why don't you go out to your clubs and whore yourself out. You seem to be good at that from what I could see," Nick spat out in fury.

Greg's mouth dropped open and Nick could see that he wounded him. "So that's what you think of me now? Thanks Nick, maybe I'll just go do that." He shook his head. "Damn it Nick. I told you it was a one-time mistake but now that makes me a whore. I thought you knew me better than that."

"Yeah, well so did I until that night," he replied.

"I was sloshed, you had to see that but I guess that does not matter. I was wrong. I'm sick of telling you that. I'm sorry," Greg sighed, feeling the fight drain out of him finally.

"Look forget about me and go back to your club lifestyle. We need to move on for other reasons too. I am over you," Nick said to him, not giving into Greg's sad eyes.

"So are you saying you do not love me anymore?"

"That's what I am saying," Nick said bluntly but not really meaning it.

"I don't believe that Nick, not for a second."

"That's not my problem anymore," he replied coldly. He pushed Greg aside and opened his door and left him standing outside his door, dumbfounded and heartbroken.

Greg felt like he had truly lost Nick for good.

The next day he was at home alone all day, moping around, feeling sorry for himself. He was grateful he did not have to work that evening. He did not think he could bear running into Nick. He might have a breakdown if he did.

His phone rang and he saw who was calling before picking it up.

"Hey Jason," he replied flatly.

"Hey, how are things going?"

Greg sighed into the phone. "Terrible. I don't think he will ever forgive me. He called me a whore."

"Oh honey, I am so sorry. I knew that Nick was hard headed but not that bad. Say, do you want to go with us tonight just to grab something to eat and maybe loosen you up a little?" He asked his friend.

"I don't know. I think I should stay away from going out," he replied somberly.

"It's just the Backlands, Greg. That is a mellow place considering most places we hang out at. We're just doing dinner and drinks. No big deal."

He thought about it for a moment. "Okay, I'll go but I am not drinking anything. Last time I did I ruined my life."

"Okay no problem but you can pick us up then in a couple hours so we can drink" Jason told him.

After he hung up he decided his friends were right that he needed to get out. He was sick of sitting in his lonely apartment thinking about Nick and how they use to be. At least he still had his good friends to lean on because no one at work would understand since they had no idea they had been a couple.

Nick dragged himself into work again. Ever since he broke up with Greg he had trouble sleeping. He was glad it was Greg's night off because he did not want to have to deal with seeing his former lover again. It was too painful. He put on an angry act in front of Greg but deep down he was hurting just as much.

Firstly, he still could not shake the image of Greg receiving the blowjob from that man he claimed looked like him. Secondly, he missed him as much as he hated to admit it. He hated sleeping in his big bed without his warm body next to him. He missed seeing his smiling face and missed his never-ending exuberance and positive attitude.

At work neither one of them had been the same since their breakup. Nick was moody and so was Greg. But while Nick seemed angrier at the world, Greg just seemed really depressed. He realized life sucked without his partner in it, but it was true when he told him he needed time. He felt that perhaps given a long enough time he could get past it, as long as Greg stayed true to his word. He did feel bad about the words he said to Greg earlier though. He knew he hurt him deeply and he kind of regretted that now.

"Hey Nick, I need to pull you from your current case to come with us. We have a mass shooting off Flamingo," Grissom told him as he came into the conference room, where Nick had been going over case files while thinking about Greg.

"Sure, anything to take me away from paperwork. Do we know how many victims?"

"So far 5 are dead and 4 severely wounded. Several others with minor gun shot wounds. Go with Catherine. Warrick is with me."

Nick nodded and gathered his paper work and filed it away before meeting Catherine at the Tahoe. He was glad he was being called away on a major case that would take his mind off of Greg at least for a while.

Nick met up with Catherine in the parking garage. Catherine gave him the eye. "You're not in a grumpy mood again are you? The last week I could swear you've had PMS or something," she scolded him.

"PMS? Funny. No! I've just had some personal issues going on that's all. I'll try not to mope tonight," he said with a small grin.

"Good, it's bad enough with Greg being unusually quiet and sullen lately. I don't need another one," she grumbled.

"Yeah I noticed he has been in a mood lately too. I don't know what that is about though," he lied just to act like there was nothing in common between them.

"Well whatever. Let's get to the scene. It's going to be a long night by the sounds of it."

They made idle chit chat until they got close to the location.

"Where are we going to anyway?" Nick finally asked Catherine since she was driving.

"Oh it is a place called the Backlands Bar and Grill. Supposedly it is a gay hangout. This might be a hate crime by the sounds of it," she told him.

Nick remembered Greg mentioning the place once as an easy going place, not wild and crazy like a lot of the other places he liked to go to. "A mass shooting at a gay bar being a hate crime sounds plausible. There are an awful lot of homophobic people in this world still," he said aloud but more to himself.

"Yeah and it's a shame too. I see nothing wrong with two people of the same sex being in love with each other. At least they have a loved one in their life. It can be lonely being single. I know that and you probably do too."

"Yeah I do," he said while thinking of Greg.

"I'm actually surprised you are still single, a hottie like you," she winked at him.

He blushed a bit before answering. "Well maybe I am just not looking right now."

"Hmmm, the clock is ticking Nicky," she smirked.

"Again, funny," he mumbled.

She dropped it as they arrived at the restaurant that already had crime scene tape all around it. Several ambulances were on the scene and cops were everywhere. Catherine parked the SUV and found Grissom and Warrick talking to Brass by the front door. They walked up to them.

"Okay, I just got here. Most of the seriously injured victims are already on their way to the hospital. Several more are being worked on now. The killer got away. We are trying to get descriptions from people inside. It does seem to be a hate crime. Supposedly he came in yelling slurs about gays before he pulled out his guns and just started randomly shooting," Brass told them.

"Okay, I want Nick and Catherine inside with me. Warrick, process the outside here. We have a lot of work to do," Grissom told them.

They all picked up their kits and went their separate ways. Nick felt weird walking inside a place for gays, a place he only heard about from Greg. A place he should have really felt comfortable enough walking into.

The actual place seemed mundane in décor. Not like the usual glitzy look most gay clubs had. He could actually picture himself and Greg coming in there and regretted never having gone there with him.

He started on the right side of the bar taking photos of shell casings and placing markers where he found them. He was busily working when he heard his name called. He looked up, thinking it was one of his co-workers when he saw Jason, Greg's friend. Nick walked over to him and saw him covered in blood.

"My God, were you hit? Where is Aaron? Is he okay?" Nick asked rapidly as he now saw Jason with a look of shock on his face.

Jason looked over to the side. "Aaron is getting patched up and questioned, but Nick…"

"Did he get shot? Did you all see the gunman? Can you describe him?" Nick asked, going into full investigator mode.

"Aaron got grazed and well I did not see the guy, but Nick…Nick, Greg was with us," he said shakily.

Nick stood frozen a moment. "What? What do you mean he was with you?" Nick whispered, his voice full of fear.

"He was one of the first ones they rushed out of here to the hospital. Nick, he pushed me and Aaron down to the ground when he saw the shooter but…he got shot…in the head," Jason choked out as he remembered seeing Greg roll onto the ground, blood pouring out of his head. He looked down at his bloody hands and shook.

Nick felt all the blood drain out of his face, as he felt faint hearing the news. "He…he was alive when they took him?" he asked barely able to breathe.

"Yes, he was but it did not look good." Jason shook his head as he looked down at himself. "So much blood," he said eerily.

Nick now realized he was covered in his blood. He felt like he was going to get sick. "How long ago did they take him?"

Jason shook his head. "I don't know, maybe only 5 minutes ago?"

Aaron came back over to his boyfriend, looking equally shocked. Jason hugged him upon seeing him. "Oh thank goodness you are back."

Aaron saw Nick. "Oh God, Nick! Did he tell you?"

Nick barely nodded. He felt nauseous. He did not know what to do. He just heard that the man he loved had a bullet in his head. "I got to…I got to get back to work." Nick quickly turned away and walked aimlessly towards the exit.

Catherine noticed Nick looking unwell suddenly and went over to him. "Nick what is wrong with you?" She asked him out of concern.

He turned to her just realizing the reality of it all. "Catherine, oh God! Greg's been shot. He was here and he was shot."

"What? He was here? How do you know?"

"I saw his friends who he was with over by the bar. They said he was shot in the head."

She gasped. Fear filled her eyes. "Is he dead?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't know. He was taken to the hospital, still alive."

"Oh no! I can't believe it." She said seeming stunned herself.

Nick was dazed. "I would not forgive him. I said some horrible things to him. If he dies…I won't be able to take it back. I said it out of anger. What am I going to do? He thinks I did not love him," he rambled suddenly.

"Nick, what are you talking about? You had a fight with him? Love him?" She asked him feeling a bit confused by his ramblings. When he did not answer and she saw tears swell up in his eyes she suddenly realized what he meant. Greg was in a gay bar and Nick and him had both been avoiding each other all week long, when usually they were inseparable. How could she not have figured it out before?

"Oh no, Nick! I am so sorry. I did not realize you two were…oh goodness," she exclaimed.

He did not even care that she figured it out. All he could think of was that his lover could be dead right now.

Catherine saw the fear in his eyes. "Nick, you need to go to the hospital. I'll tell Grissom and you take the Tahoe. Just go. Grissom will understand once I tell him."

He nodded and took the keys from her. "Let us know how he is when you get there." She gave him a hug. "He's a fighter, Nick. Just remember that," she whispered in his ear.

"Yeah I know," he said softly.

Catherine watched him leave and then found Grissom. "Hey Gil, I need to talk to you."

"What is it?" He asked her without turning around to see her.

"Gil," she put her hand on his arm. He turned around and saw that she looked upset.

"What's wrong?" He asked, now reading the concern on her face.

"Nick's gone to the hospital. He found out Greg was one of the shooting victims here tonight," she told him.

"Our Greg? He was here?" Seeming as confused as she had been at first.

"Yes, he was shot in the head. Nick was a wreck when he found out so I said I would cover for him while he went to the hospital to find out his condition."

"In the head?" She nodded in response. "You should have told me before you sent him. This is a huge scene here. We need all the help we can get."

"I know that but Nick would not have been able to do his job. He was worried sick."

"Well, we all are going to be but there is nothing he or any of us can do for him right now but catch this guy. I am sure the doctors will take good care of him."

"Grissom, you do not understand. Nick and Greg are a couple," she told him, hoping he would catch on like she did.

Grissom suddenly raised his brows. "I did not know."

"Neither did I until Nick said he loved him and I saw how upset he was. It all made sense. They've been together and we had no idea," she sighed.

"Okay then, I understand. I'll let Brass and Warrick know about Greg. I'm sure Nick will let us know how he is."

"Yes he will. I'll go back to my processing," she said and went back to where she had been before Nick told her the horrifying news.

Grissom stayed in place a moment, absorbing the reality of the situation. Nick and Greg had been a couple was one thing but Greg had a bullet in his head. He knew if he lived he would never be the same. He said a silent prayer for him before he went to fill in the others.

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A/N-I love reviews...please review :)


	3. Love Ch 3

_A/N-Hello! I can tell you there is no character death in this story. This is mostly about Nick and Greg's relationship and how it will withstand new complications. I was very slightly inspired by QAF, Lily G. _ _It will not have a dark ending, I promise, as I already have finished writing it. Just not typing it. :)_

_Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming. Enjoy!  
_

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Nick ran up to the nurses' station when he arrived at the hospital. "Hi, I'm checking on the status of a gun shot victim who was brought in here a little while ago. His name is Greg Sanders."

The nurse eyed his CSI ID and nodded. She looked through her computer for information. "Ah he is one of those gays from the multiple shooting at the gay bar. Yeah he is in surgery still, Dr. Myers is doing it. Brain surgery can take a few hours, if he lives through it," she told him non-chalantly.

Nick felt angry at her non-caring attitude. "He happens to be a very close co-worker of mine. I would appreciate a bit more respect for his life."

She felt her face redden in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect. We have not been able to contact his family. Do you know how to?"

He did not even think about his parents. He remembered they were on vacation for a couple of weeks. "Yeah I can reach them. I'll be in the waiting room, so when the doctor comes out let me know," he brooded and then left her to her work.

He went to the waiting room and pulled out his cell phone. He had Greg's parents home phone number and cell phone number from when they visited his parents around last Thanksgiving.

He sighed as he rang the cell phone number. He did not know how to break the news to them.

"Hello?" He heard a groggy female voice answer.

"Pat, it's Nick," he said to Greg's mother.

"Nick, do you know what time it is? Why are you calling?" He heard her pause and then gasp. "Oh my God! Something happened to my boy, didn't it?" She cried out.

Nick felt himself lose some of his own control over his emotions as he spoke. "He's been shot in the head. He is in surgery right now." Then all he heard was rapid breathing on the other side.

"Patricia, are you alright?" He asked out of concern.

"Did this happen on the job again?" she whispered in a fearful tone.

"No, actually he was off tonight. It happened at a gay bar he was at with Jason and Aaron. A man came in shooting. We believe it to be a hate crime," he told her, trying to keep his voice somewhat calm.

"Oh dear lord," she cried out. He could hear her telling Greg's dad and then he came onto the phone.

"Nick, it's Douglas. What hospital is he at?"  
Nick passed on the information and then said goodbye to them so they could get working on getting a flight out as soon as possible.

He sat in silence for a few moments, trying to grasp reality. Without having seen Greg yet he was having a difficult time accepting it was all real.

The nurse from earlier came over to him, quietly. "Um Officer Stokes, uh here are Greg Sanders belongings. I figured you needed them for evidence," she said as she handed him a clear plastic bag with a few things in it. He took it and thanked her and waited for her to leave before looking at the actual contents.

He held it up and saw Greg's car keys and his wallet. But what really caught his eye was the silver box chain necklace Greg wore when he went out. The necklace was covered in blood. That was when reality struck him that he could really be dying in that operating room. Tears crept into his eyes but he did not bother to wipe them away.

Sure he had been mad at Greg but he never wished him any harm. He still loved him as much as he had wanted to deny it before. His pride had got the better of him before when they fought for him to admit it. Now he wished he could take it all back just to have him live.

He was not sure how long he was sitting there waiting before someone approached him. "Nick, have you heard anything yet?"

He looked up and saw Catherine looking down at him with concern. He shook his head. "No, not a thing. It has been a couple of hours now. I'm going crazy waiting here."

"Well it has to mean he is still alive, just remember that," she told him as she took a seat next to him.

"I guess. I just can't picture him out of my life completely. I can't lose him," he said to her, his eyes getting moist again.

"How long have you two been together?" She asked him, wanting to know and just to keep him talking about good times.

"Our three year anniversary was a week and a half ago. But things happened and we fought and have been apart since. I called him things that were hurtful when I was angry. Now I may never be able to tell him that I still love him." He turned to Catherine. "I can't lose him now after all of this. I just can't."

She gave him a hug. "I know, I know."

They sat in silence for a little while before she spoke again. "I can't believe you two were together for 3 years and none of us knew."

He sighed. "That was one argument we had. He wanted to tell you all, but I've been afraid to, mostly afraid of my family finding out I'm gay."

"They don't know? What about Greg's parents? Do they know?"

"Yeah, they do. They have known for years what he is. I had to call them on their vacation to tell them he was here."

"Oh dear. They were worried sick when he was beaten up. I can't imagine how they feel now."

An older man came up to them in scrubs. "Are you Officer Stokes?"

Nick looked up, hopefully. "Yes and this is Catherine Willows, another CSI. Do you have news on Greg Sanders?"

"Yes, I am Dr. Frank Myers. I am the chief neurosurgeon on staff here. I did the surgery on Mr. Sanders. He made it through the surgery with some close moments but he is alive. He is in critical condition still. The bullet lodged into his left temporal lobe. Luckily it was a smaller caliber bullet and did not travel far. We repaired what damage we could but with any brain injury there will be problems. Right now he is being set up in ICU. We have him on a ventilator to assist him with his breathing. He is breathing on his own but we do it as a precaution."

"So he's going to be okay?" Nick asked naively.

"Well, he's alive but with his injury it is really hard to say. It is a wait and see situation. The first hurdle is the next 24-48 hours, then we will take it day by day from there," he told them.

"I see…when can we see him?" He asked.

"Give us another 30 minutes and I'll have a nurse tell you where he is. Now, I need to go but if you have any questions, myself or a nurse can assist you."

"Thanks Dr. Myers for all you did," Catherine told him sincerely. He nodded and then left them to see other patients.

Nick seemed to sigh in relief. He was alive, he was still alive and the doctor seemed hopeful. It made him feel a bit better.

"I'm going to call the others and fill them in on the news. I'll be right back," Catherine told him.

Nick sat down quietly, thanking God that Greg was alive and praying that he would wake up and be okay.

A nurse approached Nick and Catherine a little while later. "You are here for Greg Sanders?" The young blonde nurse asked them.

Catherine stood up. "Yes we are."

"Well first I have this for you." She handed them a small plastic bag. Nick took it and stared down at it. It was the bullet that had been in Greg's head. Catherine saw his dazed gaze and took it out of his hand.

"Thanks, I will take this back to the lab," she told the nurse.

"Okay, well also Mr. Sanders is able to have visitors now, just one at a time though. Now just to warn you, he has a lot of things hooked up to him. It can be shocking for people to see at first. I'll walk you to his room."

Nick felt better knowing he could finally see him. They followed her to the ICU area of the hospital. "He's in room 204. You can go ahead. Just remember one person at a time, even though he is still unconscious."

"Nick, you can go on ahead. I'll be here when you come out," Catherine told him as she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Catherine." He gave her a small smile before he went to the door. His hands were shaking as he went to open the door. He took a deep breath to prepare himself before entering the room.

He walked in and gasped still even though he thought he had prepared himself. He wondered if Greg really was alive. It looked like only machines were keeping him alive. He stepped closer. He felt his chest constrict as he saw the man he loved looking more like a science project with all the IV's, catheter, tubes, and machines surrounding him.

He looked more closely at him. His face was ghostly white but slightly obscured by the tube going into his mouth to help him breath. His head was wrapped in heavy bandages. He wondered briefly if he was completely bald under the bandages.

He sat down in the bedside chair on his right side. He sighed heavily as he stared at the machines telling him Greg was still alive. "You should not be here like this. How did this happen?" Tears leaked out of his eyes as he chuckled suddenly to himself.

"I know how this happened. I would not take you back. I pushed you away and what happens when I do that to you? You go out with your friends. But even then you should have been fine, having a good time with them. Instead some homophobic asshole comes in and shoots the place up and here you are, barely alive, surrounded by machines."

"Greg, I am so sorry. I never thought I could possibly lose you completely. Now I face that possibility and I don't want to. You need to fight, G. You need to live because I am selfish and I realize I cannot live without you. I love you and I forgive you, just come back to me." He picked up his hand and held it gently in his as tears rolled down his face. "Please come back to me."

Twenty-four hours passed and Greg had an on-going flow of visitors but still there was no change in his condition. His parents had been by and were staying in his apartment while they were there in town.

Nick was spending time again at his bedside. Grissom had just been there checking on Greg and letting Nick know that they had an APB out on James Brannon, the man who was identified as the shooter at the bar and who was still at large.

If he was the one to find the guy, Nick was not sure the guy would end up alive. Five people had died and three, Greg being one of them, still remained in critical condition. Jason and Aaron had been by earlier to see how their friend was. They were still in a bit of shock over the whole ordeal.

But now Nick sat alone with him. "I'm back. Catherine forced me to go home and get some sleep, but I could not sleep knowing you are here like this." He held his right hand, rubbing it against his cheek.

"You know, I remember the first time I was introduced to you as our new DNA tech. I almost laughed. You were just a kid, barely out of high school. I wondered how Grissom could have hired you, but then I saw your work and your work ethic. You knew what you were doing and you were damn good at it. You always got your work done on time. You were definitely the DNA ace."

"Of course I thought you were cute but I would have never expressed that back then. I was so confused at the time with my sexuality. I liked men, but I was brought up by my family to look down on gays. They were sinners. I saw a free spirit in you, though and I was envious. I wished I could have been more like you. I guess even as we got together I was always jealous of you. Your parents are so supportive of you. Plus you have other gay friends. I only have them by association through you."

"Now if I don't have you, I fear I will lose my identity again. I need you to come back to me," he said as the tears swelled up again. He closed his eyes for a while and just held his hand, feeling the warmth emanating from it.

Suddenly Greg's hand started shaking. Nick opened his eyes because he thought he was waking up. But instead what was happening scared him like hell. Greg's whole body started convulsing. Nick quickly yelled for help.

A nurse came running in and called for the doctor. "He's having a seizure. It's common for TBI patients," she told him before he freaked out.

"TBI, what does that mean?" he asked quickly.

"Traumatic Brain Injury," she told him.

By the time Dr. Myers arrived, Greg's was lying still again.

"Is he okay?" Nick asked frantically.

Dr. Myers looked at Nick. "Give us a couple of minutes alone with him and I'll let you know." Nick did not want to leave but he knew he had to let the doctor do his job.

The doctor came out a few minutes later. "Mr. Stokes, Greg is still the same. It is not unusual for patients with brain injuries to suffer at least one seizure. What we will be watching for is if he has another, then we might have to try some things out. But for right now there is no real change, basically indicating he is in a coma."

"A coma? That's not good, is it?" Nick asked with concern as he looked over at Greg through the window.

"Let me just say it does not mean to lose hope. The brain can take a long time to heal," Dr. Myers informed him.

"Okay," he replied but his eyes revealed his true fears.

"May I ask you a question? I get the feeling you are more than just a co-worker of Mr. Sanders. I've never seen a co-worker sit at another's bedside as much as you have," the doctor said to him.

"Well, uh, he is my best friend too," Nick replied.

"I know if my boyfriend was in Greg's condition I would be worried sick too," Dr. Myers said with a smile, hoping Nick would understand what he was saying.

"How did you know?" He asked in surprise.

"The signs are all there to another gay man. Don't worry about it. If the others do not know I will not spill the beans."

He shook his head. "No, I mean they know now. It is okay. But what do you really think his chances are of recovery?"

"Well, let me just say I have seen worse damage and people recover from it. Just let him know he has people waiting for him when he wakes up. I have to be going now. Nurse Johnson will let you know when you can go back in. Take care. I'll see you later."

Nick was now beginning to realize how stupid he had been for keeping their relationship hidden for so long. Granted his parents still were unaware but he did not care now what they thought. All that mattered was Greg's recovery.


	4. Opening Up Ch 4

**A/N- Hello all. I'm back with another chapter. Hopefully this one will draw a few more reviews from you all. :D**

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A few more days had passed with Greg showing little sign of recovery. Only positive thing was removing him from the ventilator. The doctors were confident he would be fine without the additional help anymore. It made Nick feel a little better and made Greg look a little more alive without that apparatus helping him to breathe.

Nick had just come back to visit him after his parents had been by and a few others. "Hey G. I miss you, you know? I mean even when we weren't together, I still saw you at work almost every day. I could hear your voice and see you doing your work. Now, like this, it just does not seem like you. It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers or something." He chuckled a little. "Now if that did not sound like something you would say," he smirked but then it faded.

"These last couple of days have been some of the hardest for me. Now I know how you must have felt when I was buried alive, thinking I could die." He stared at him, with the IV's, tubes, and his head wrapped in bandages. He knew he would not be the same, with brain damage. There was just no way. He only prayed that the damage would be minimal.

Nick was sitting there quietly for a few minutes and had started to doze off when he thought he saw movement from Greg. Nick sat up and stared intently at him. He saw his eyes flutter.

"Greg, can you hear me? It's Nick. Come on, baby, wake up for me," he said, feeling hope blossom in his chest.

His eyes opened partially and seemed to gaze at nothing in particular.

"Hey, can you hear me?" Nick asked again hoping he would look at him, but he did not move. He grabbed his hand again. "Hey, it's me, Nick." Still his brown eyes seemed to stare into an abyss.

Panicking a little, he pushed the button to get a nurse in. Nurse Johnson came in a minute later.

"His eyes are open but he is not responding," Nick told her worriedly.

She checked on his vitals then paged Dr. Myers.

"What's going on?" Nick asked, his eyes wide with fear.

"The doctor will explain when he comes," she told him.

Nick waited impatiently until Dr. Myers came in. He examined Greg for any signs of comprehension.

"What's wrong with him?" Nick asked again.

Dr. Myers turned to him. "Nothing has really changed much. He is still in a coma. Patients can go through various stages of comas, one being opening their eyes but not being responsive." The doctor patted Nick on the shoulder. "Just hang in there. I have a feeling he'll come back to you."

"Thanks, I'll try to." Nick waited until they left before looking at Greg again. It was eerie seeing his big brown eyes look so empty. He was thankful when those eyes closed again. Nick rubbed his arms, feeling a shiver at just picturing him like that. He preferred him with his eyes closed. As much as he loved looking into his eyes, he could not bare to see them so lifeless like that.

He sat with him a little while longer until someone else came into the room. He looked up and saw Grissom by the door. "How's he doing? Any change?" His supervisor asked him.

"Not much. He opened his eyes briefly but was unresponsive. Doctor said he is still in a coma, so little overall has changed," Nick sighed as he looked back at Greg's pale, but placid face.

"Well his opening his eyes is better than nothing. Don't lose hope," Grissom told him.

"I'm not. Why does everyone seem to think I am?" Nick responded feeling slightly irritated.

"I don't think you are. It is just something people say, Nick." Grissom still felt a bit awkward knowing that Nick and Greg had been a couple all this time and he had no clue. He was so busy hiding his own relationship with Sara for so long he paid no attention to anyone else's. But now Sara was away and he missed her a lot but he knew that it was different than a loved one being unable to communicate with you at all. He wondered how Nick would deal it if Greg never recovered.

"Sorry, I know. I'm just on edge. It's hard waiting for him to come to. It feels like the longer he is like this, the less likely he is to regain consciousness," he frowned.

"I know it is not easy. But being here is good. I am sure he will appreciate it when he does wake up. Greg is a fighter, he'll come out of this," Grissom told him in a reassuring way.

"Yeah, I know he is," Nick said solemnly.

"Look, I'll stay here awhile. Why don't you grab a bite to eat?"

"Yeah, sure."

Grissom knew this was hard on Nick but it was actually hard on all of them. They were down another team member, a member who often brought light to darker situations. But most of all they were down a great person, colleague and friend who might never be able to be a part of the team again. He frowned as he looked upon his youngest CSI, the victim of a terrible hate crime. He would be very happy the day James Brannon would be brought in for justice.

--

Nick had fallen asleep at Greg's bedside again. It had been a few days since Greg first opened his eyes. He opened his eyes earlier again, looking like hallow dark orbs. It spooked Nick again so much so he ended up having a nightmare that Greg was some sort of Zombie.

He woke up and looked at Greg. His eyes were open again and focused on him but something was different about them this time. There was recognition in those big browns.

Nick sat up straighter, feeling excited suddenly. "Greg, can you hear me?"

A faint smile curved on Greg's lips. Nick's heart jumped in joy. Greg heard him and saw him. "You can hear me. I have to let your doctor know," he thought suddenly. He used the call button and then focused on Greg.

"Geez Greg, I was so worried that I'd never have you look at me again." Greg's eyes traveled over Nick, like he was studying him to make sure he was real.

A nurse came in finally. "He's awake," Nick told her, excitedly. She looked at the patient as he looked back at her.

"So it seems. I will page the doctor."

As she went about her business, Nick stared adorningly at his lover, never feeling so happy as this to see him. Greg gazed back at him in silence.

Dr. Myers came in. He noticed Greg look at him and smiled. "Well, what do we have here? It looks like our patient has finally woken up." He walked over to his nurse and asked her a few questions before continuing.

He looked at Greg again, whose eyes went between Nick and him. "I'm Dr. Myers. I need to try to ask you some questions. All you have to do is nod or shake your head if you can for yes or no answer. Can you do that?"

Greg nodded slightly. "Good. Now then, first things first, are you in pain?" He nodded.

"Is it only your head that hurts?" Again he nodded slightly.

"That's good to know. I'll up the drip a little more for your pain. Do you know what happened to you?"

He shook his head. Nick noticed he grimaced after doing that and closed his eyes.

"Take it easy on shaking your head, just a simple small movement will suffice for me," Dr. Myers told him.

He reopened his eyes and looked to Nick, somewhat fearfully. Nick took his right hand in his and held it for comfort. Greg looked at his hand being held and then at Nick, his eyes widening.

Dr. Myers noticed his reactions and pursed his lips. "Greg, I want you to look at me." He waited until he was.

"Good, can you feel him holding your hand?"

Greg looked nervously at his lover and then at his doctor. He shook his head, no.

Nick now noticed that he held his hand but he had not squeezed back or moved it at all.

The doctor came around to Greg's left side. His eyes followed the doctor. "Can you move your left hand?"

He had no problem moving his left hand. Dr. Myers got out a pen and moved down to the foot of his bed. He lifted the sheet to reveal Greg's feet. "I'm going to test your reactions. Now, do you feel this?" He ran the blunt end of the pen over the bottom of his left foot. He flinched a bit, obviously feeling it.

"Okay, I take that as a yes. Good, now for your other foot." He ran the pen along his right foot. There was no flinching on Greg's behalf. Instead he looked sad all of the sudden and closed his eyes tiredly.

When he had first woke up and saw Nick at his side, it made him feel good. But then the pain inside his head caused some confusion. He recognized that he was in a hospital but had no idea how he ended up there. Seeing Nick at his side made him feel better anyway, until he held his hand and he did not even feel it. He could not feel his right arm or his right leg. He felt nothing on that side of his body. He knew something was seriously wrong.

He opened his eyes and saw his doctor again. Greg had to know. "Wh…wh…what hap…happen?" he asked slowly and found it hard to formulate the words.

"You were shot in the head. You have some brain damage. The numbness you have on your right side now is most likely temporary. You still have a lot of swelling on your brain. We will have to run more tests but right now I think you need to get more sleep."

Greg's eyes seemed to glaze over as he tried to absorb what the doctor just told him. All he heard was he was shot in the head and the rest seemed like gibberish.

Nick noticed the distant look again. "Hey G, maybe you should just sleep for awhile like the doctor says."

The patient's half closed eyes turned to him and he nodded slightly and closed his eyes completely. He could no longer focus on anything anyway.

Dr. Myers wanted to talk to Nick outside the room, so he asked him to step outside with him.

"What's going on?" Nick asked him in reference to Greg.

"What I said in there to him is true. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body. Paralysis or numbness is not uncommon."

"But will it be permanent?" Nick asked him.

"Most likely not, but you can never be sure. I can tell you he will have some lifelong problems. It is really hard to say at this point what they will be. Things can develop over time from head injuries as his."

Nick looked down and frowned. "I see."

"But his waking up is a huge thing, plus he remembered you. That is excellent also. Memory loss is very common with injuries to the temporal lobe. Next time when he is able to talk more, I will test his memory some more," Dr. Myers told him.

"You're right. He did regain consciousness and he seemed to remember me. I guess that is good."

"It is good, trust me. Just give him some time. I'll be back later on. You get some rest, you look like hell," Dr. Myers smirked and then left him.

Nick went back into his room. He sat down and watched his lover sleep. At least he was sleeping now and not unconscious. He sat there for a while wondering what else could be wrong with Greg. He knew he would not be able to come back to work if he was partially paralyzed. He wondered how Greg would deal with it if he was.

A few hours passed and Nick heard the door open.

"Hey Nick. How's he doing?" Nick turned around and saw Greg's parents come into the room.

"Hi. He woke up a couple hours ago," he told them.

"Yeah? That's great! Have you been here all this time?" Greg's father asked.

"Uh yeah. I fell asleep here for a bit," he replied sheepishly.

Patricia Sanders walked closer to her son's bedside. "Did he seem alright when he woke up?"

"He did not talk much. He does not remember what happened to him and uh, he cannot feel anything on the right side of his body."

"What? Oh dear," she exclaimed.

"Dr. Myers says it might just be temporary until the swelling goes down," he added quickly.

They all noticed a small moan coming in the direction of Greg. He had moved his head a little and then opened his eyes. He saw his parents and managed a tiny smile.

Patricia Sanders leaned down and planted a kiss on her son's forehead. "Hello, my boy. I'm so glad to see you awake. We were so worried."

He opened his mouth and fought to get the word "sorry" out.

"It's okay, darling. You are okay now, that is all that matters."

"Hey G. I am still here," Nick said as he peeked around from standing behind Greg's dad.

"Hey," he said weakly. He woke up because he heard talking but he was not feeling too lucid. He wanted to sleep more.

"T…tired," he mumbled.

"Sorry we woke you up, son. Don't mind us, just go back to sleep. We'll leave you alone for a while," his father said to him.

"S'k," he said softly and then closed his eyes again.

"I should probably leave and get some sleep, too," Nick said and hugged Greg's parents before he left.

On his drive home, he thought about his parents and if he were to tell them about him and Greg, would they be as supportive as Greg's parents were? Would they open their arms and welcome Greg? He felt his head throb with the stress of just thinking about it. No, he would wait until he knew Greg would be ready to deal with any fall out of it. If he told his parents and they wanted to come out and confront Nick he did not want Greg to bear the brunt of what they might say. He would wait for a better moment.


	5. Finding Out Ch 5

A/N- Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews. It is reviews like that that keep me writing these fictions. Hope you all enjoy this chapter, let me know ;)

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The room he was in had different colored walls that kept changing and made him feel dizzy. He saw a door and went to walk towards it when his right leg gave out from under him and he fell down. He tried to get up again but could not feel his leg. He crawled over to the nearest wall, which had just turned from a sunny yellow to a midnight blue.

He used the wall for balance and managed to stand up, dragging his right leg along to the wall with the door on it.

When he reached the door, he went out to grab the handle and the whole door disappeared. He looked around and saw the door now on an orange wall. He turned around to move towards it. As he just about reached it, it moved again.

He got dizzy and confused with the changing colors and door movement, so much so that he collapsed onto the ground. He stared up at the ceiling that spun. Everything moved around him. He needed out but had no strength. He tried again but silence was all he heard.

Suddenly the walls and ceiling started closing in around him. He started to panic and claw at the walls as they started to squeeze him. As they closed in around him, he felt constricted and could not breathe. He made one last attempt to yell and then his eyes flew open.

He was back in reality, back in the hospital room, alone. He looked around the room and it seemed to be night, as his room only had a florescent light on above his bed.

He was thirsty and tried to reach over to his left side for some water when a sharp pain exploded in his head. He lay back slowly as not to aggravate the pain and closed his eyes. The pain felt worse on his left side but it spread through his whole head._ 'What the hell happened to me?' _He could not remember.

He heard the door open and he cracked his eyes open. It was the doctor he saw before but he did not remember his name.

"Well, I did not expect you to be awake when I came in but it is good that you are. Do you think you can try answering some questions for me?"

Greg nodded. "W…wa…ter?"

"Ah yes, I can help you with some." Dr. Myers poured some in a glass for him and gave him a straw to sip.

"Okay, now I'm going to ask you some simple, mundane questions first. Are you ready?"

"Y…yes." His voice was low and hoarse.

"What's your name?"

"Gr…Greg S…sanders," he answered slowly.

Dr. Myers continued to ask him basic questions in which he all answered, even if some answers came slowly.

"Okay now on to more current stuff, what is the last thing you remember before waking in the hospital here?"

Greg had to think a moment; his memories were a bit jumbled. "Um…working a…a c…case with…with Nick."

"Did I hear my name mentioned?" Nick asked as he peeked his head in the door.

"Ah, you have good timing. I'm asking Greg about what he remembers before waking up in the hospital here. You might be able to know what or when he is referring to."

Nick suddenly got worried that Greg remembered their fight and that he called him a whore. He did not want Greg upset.

Greg looked at Nick with some confusion, worrying Nick. "W…worked a case…. with you? Mur…murdered woman?"

Nick smiled a bit. "We work on a lot of cases that involve murdered women. Which one Greg? Do you remember?"

He closed his eyes trying to remember. "St…stabbed in home…in bathroom?" He was not sure of his own memories. He opened his eyes back up. He was having trouble with details.

Nick looked at Dr. Myers with some concern. "I remember that case now. It was like 4 weeks ago, though. It's only been a week and a half since…" he stopped when he saw the doctor shake his head.

Greg looked between them and could tell there was something wrong. A sharp pain shot through his head again and he winced, not going unnoticed by Dr. Myers or Nick.

"Greg, are you okay?" Nick asked first.

"P…pain…head." He looked up at Nick. "Wh…what hap…happened?" He stuttered.

Nick looked nervously at the doctor. Dr. Myers took over.

"You were shot in the head. We removed the bullet but you will have pain for awhile and probably other problems that have yet to totally present themselves."

Greg suddenly looked down, avoiding their stares. He had been shot in the head, he was brain damaged. It was what the doctor did not say directly but he knew. He wondered about the numbness he still had on his right side.

"Par…paralyzed?" he asked, slowly his eyes meeting the doctor's.

"No, not paralyzed but numb, I believe. You still have major swelling on your brain. It appears you have some memory loss issues also."

Greg nodded slowly, trying to fathom what all this meant to him. He looked at Nick, who gave him a weak smile. Would Nick still want him all messed up like this? He closed his eyes as he felt tears coming on. He did not want to deal with all this right now. He just felt too tired and wanted to sleep. He wished they would leave him alone. He could not handle all this now.

"I think it is time we let you get some more sleep. You need plenty of it. We have plenty of time to continue this later on." Dr. Myers turned to Nick. "I'll be in touch with you later on."

Nick nodded and added, "Thanks," before the doctor left him alone. He turned his attention back to Greg, who cracked his eyes open again.

"Just get some sleep, don't mind me. I have no place better to be."

"Off?" Greg asked quietly.

"Yeah, I took some vacation time. It's okay. The team understands," he said. He saw the questioning in his eyes.

"They know about us being a couple now," he admitted.

Greg raised an eyebrow, a bit intrigued now. "Ye…yeah? Took me get…getting sh…shot?"

Nick picked up on the hint and winced. "I'm sorry, G."

"No…no, s'kay," he slurred as he closed his eyes again, feeling a wave of sleepiness come over him.

Nick realized he had fell asleep and felt a tinge of guilt, knowing Greg was right. If he had not been shot, no one would still know about them. And it was mostly due to the fact that he was shot in a gay bar that really forced him to come out. But he was not mad about it, he actually felt relieved that he was out. His parents still did not know, but for now all he worried about was Greg. He could not feel his right limbs and he was having memory problems. Plus he noticed that his speech was slurred and slow. He would have to ask Dr. Myers about that later.

At least Greg slept now, even though once in awhile he could see him grimace in his sleep. He knew he had to be doped up good to not be in serious pain he would probably have been in otherwise. It was hard seeing Greg when he was beat up over a year prior and then the pain he had been in all over then, but he recovered from that with very little scarring or physical affects. This was going to be completely different. This could actually change him permanently in some way and he was not sure how he would deal with that. He did love him though and he would try his best to get him through this.

A few days went by and Greg was staying awake longer and talking a bit more. He still seemed to have problems remembering things, some which were said to him only earlier on. His speech had not improved; he still seemed to have difficulty with slurring or stuttering.

He was eating when Nick walked in. He had to eat with his left hand due to still hardly being able to even have feeling in his right. He smiled seeing Nick come in.

"Hey, I see you are finally eating real food," Nick said as he sat down.

Greg nodded. "S…starving," he said and took another bite of his eggs.

Nick was getting use to his limited answers. He was just happy he seemed to be getting better and was in a fairly good spirits, considering.

"I'll let you finish eating then," Nick told him as he sat back watching him.

When he finished eating he leaned back into the pillows. He took on a serious look. "Tell me wh…what happened."

Nick was not sure what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

No one had told him how he got shot yet. All he knew was that he was shot and he was not working at the time. He motioned with his left hand like he was shooting himself in the head.

"Oh geez Greg. Did you have to make that motion? This is not funny." Nick was surprised when he did it.

"Am I la…laughing?" Greg said looking at him sadly.

"No, sorry. I guess you deserve to know since you might never remember it. You were out with Jason and Aaron, do you know that much?" He asked him.

Greg nodded. "They s…said but not m…more."

"Well you all went to the Backlands Bar and Grill to have dinner, Jason told me. He said you all were sitting at the bar, after eating when this guy came in. He started ranting about how fags should die. That everyone there were sinners and you were all going to hell. Jason said suddenly he saw the guy pull a gun out of each of his pockets and then the next thing he knew you were pushing them down to the ground." He paused for a moment; collecting his thoughts thinking what it must have been like if he had been in Jason's shoes.

"He said next thing he knew you were a dead weight on top of him and he saw blood coming from your head."

Greg looked away from him. He was staring down at his feet. For some reason he had not grasped the seriousness of what had happened to him until he now heard of what actually did go down. He felt a little nauseous and Nick could see him pale.

"Hey G, are you going to be okay?" Nick asked with concern.

Suddenly he really was not sure if he was going to be okay. How could he ever be okay again with brain damage?

Nick noticed he was not responding and became worried about him. "Greg?"

He finally looked at him and for first time he saw the uncertainty and fear in his watery eyes. "D…don't know," he mumbled sadly.

Nick felt his heartbreak for him. He looked like a lost little boy. He leaned over to give his lover a hug but suddenly Greg shrank back.

"No!" He yelled. His eyes were wide.

"What? What's wrong? I just wanted to give you a hug," Nick replied in alarm.

"No, don…don't pit…pity me," he said as his eyes flashed with anger.

"I'm sorry, G. I did not mean anything by it. I just thought you could use some comfort from me," he replied sadly.

"Leave," he told Nick flatly.

"What? But Greg…" Nick was just shocked now.

"P…please," he said softly, looking away.

"Okay, I'll go for now." Sounding dejected, Nick left him alone in his room. He went out into the hallway feeling dazed and confused by his reaction. What did he do to him to not want him around?

"Nick, is something wrong with Greg?"

He looked up from the chair he was sitting on and saw Catherine's concerned face.

"He just kicked me out of the room."

"What? Why did he do that?" She asked him as she sat next to him.

He shook his head. "He asked about how he got shot and I told him. He seemed pretty upset about it and I asked him if he was okay and he looked at me so sadly and said he was not so sure anymore. I felt so bad for him and went to embrace him and he pulled away from me. He said no and he did not want me to pity him. Then he told me to get out and he seemed angry with me. So I left and here I am, wondering where I went wrong?"

"Oh Nick, maybe he is just realizing what really happened to him and he's overwhelmed and just needs time to himself. Don't take it to hard. He had things he can't remember and physical problems, it's bound to agitate him," she said calmingly to reassume him.

"You should be a doctor." They both looked up and saw Dr. Myers.

"Sorry I overheard you saying he can get aggravated. Unfortunately with injuries like his, seeing temperament changes, especially more aggravated type is common. What exactly happened?"

Nick quickly gave him the rundown and then sighed. He felt drained all of the sudden.

"It's never easy for patients who can't remember details to have to hear them from a 3rd person perspective, especially when it still does not trigger their memory. I'm not going to sugar coat it, dealing with a loved one who had TBI can be very straining and stressful for family and friends to see them through the recovery process. You have to stay strong; things will actually get worse for Greg before they get better. He's going to have to go through physical therapy soon for his right side problems, plus some minor speech therapy and whatever else results from his TBI."

Nick lowered his head and frowned. "I guess I did not really think about it that way. I'm not sure I can deal with all that alone."

"You won't be alone, Nick. You're forgetting Greg's parents and us. We'll be here for both of you too," Catherine told him.

"Thanks, you're right. I won't be alone," he smiled a little.

"I'll go in and check on him," Dr. Myers told them.

He walked into the room and saw Greg look at him and sigh.

"Happy to see me, I see," the doctor quipped.

"Hey," Greg said weakly.

"I heard about what happened with Nick."

Greg looked ashamed. "I couldn't…deal with him…n…not now."

"He just wants you to know he is there to support you, that's all," Dr. Myers told him.

Greg swallowed hard. "I know."

"As long as you know. Now let's see how your right side is doing." The doctor flipped the sheet back from his right foot. "Okay, here it goes." He pulled out a pen sized metal piece and placed it on the bottom of his foot and moved it lightly upward. He got no reaction from Greg. Then he proceeded to press down harder and move it up. He saw Greg's eyes widen.

"Felt that," he said excitedly.

"Good, now try to see if you can move your toes at all."

He seemed to be concentrating hard when he managed to move his toes slightly. Greg beamed at him.

"That's a good sign. Very good. The swelling is going down as I suspected. Now let's try your hand." He walked over and took his hand. "Now try to squeeze my hand as hard as you can."

He tried and his hand moved a little but nowhere near a squeeze. He looked up at the doctor seeming a bit disappointed.

"It will come. It might be a slow process but it will come. I'm going to have you start light physical therapy treatments soon so maybe we can get you to full movement and strength again. In addition, I know you are having some slight speech impediments. I'm going to suggest some help with that too."

Greg nodded slowly, looking somber as he was reminded of his other problems.

"It's going to take time and will not be easy but eventually things will get easier. It's going to take a lot of patience on your behalf," Dr. Myers told him.

As he nodded his head again the doctor saw a tear trail down his cheek. "Hang in there. You're actually doing very well considering what could have been wrong with you. Just get some more rest. That is the best thing for you at this time."

"Ok, t…thanks," he said to him. He watched him leave and sighed. He closed his eyes. He felt drained and a bit lightheaded. It had been a rough day. He felt bad getting mad at Nick now and he was not sure why he reacted the way he did. He knew he needed to talk to Jason and Aaron about the details more. He felt like Nick was holding back something but since he could not remember he would have to ask them.

Soon the tiredness and painkillers overtook him and he drifted off into a deep sleep.


	6. Hate Given A Face Ch 6

_A/N-I am glad you are all enjoying my story. I realize I use some strong derogatory terms in this story and I hope it does not offend anyone. It is strictly for story purposes._

_Hope you enjoy this story._

* * *

The next day Nick decided to give Greg space and did not visit him. Instead he went into work to take his mind off of Greg. That was his plan anyway, but then Grissom paged him and told him they caught the shooter from that fateful night finally.

Nick went down to Central where they were bringing him in for interrogation. He saw Brass and went up to him.

"Hey Nick. I am surprised to see you here," Brass said.

"Yeah, well I can't spend all my time at the hospital, besides I heard we caught the guy."

"Yes, he should be here any minute." They spent a little time catching each other up on details before the murderer arrived.

When Nick saw him he felt his blood boil. He would have loved nothing more than to pummel the guy. He had a military style buzz cut and a steely blue gaze as he sat down in the chair opposite the CSI and Brass.

Grissom came in and stood behind Nick, knowing he needed to be there in case Nick got too emotionally involved.

"Okay so we are all here now. Mr. Brannon, we have several witnesses who saw you come into the Backlands Bar and Grill at about 11:25 pm on April 29, 2008. They said you came in ranting homophobic slurs to the patrons. Then you proceeded to pull out two guns and started firing away randomly, screaming, 'All faggots must die.' Three people ended up dying. Six people are still in the hospital with varying degrees of injuries. Many more were simply wounded. We have enough on you for the death penalty and then some. Do you want to tell us what drove you to do this?" Brass asked him.

James Brannon sneered. "What I told them is all true, they are all sinners and abominations and must be purged from this earth. It's a shame more did not die," he spat.

Nick was furious and burst up from his seat. "Who made you the judge of all those people's lives, to just take them like they are nobody? They are flesh and blood just like you. So what if they are not the status quo heterosexuals, you had no right to destroy people's lives," he yelled.

"Nick," Grissom hissed in a warning to him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

James laughed. "The Lord says they are sinners and I am the Lord's servant sent to do away with them. I would think you would understand. You're from Texas, aren't you?"

"How do you know?" Nick asked suddenly taken back by his knowledge.

"The accent. I am from Austin. You should understand, unless you are one of them fags too?"

"So what if I was, what are you going to do about it? You're all locked up now," Nick taunted.

"Nick, outside now!" Grissom told him.

James yelled out. "There are more like me out there. If I did not get you, someone else will and get your fagot little boyfriend too!"

Nick went to lunge for the guy, but Brass and Grissom caught him and pushed him out of the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I know you are upset but you need to calm down," Brass yelled at him.

Grissom agreed. "Don't give him a chance to press charges against you. You're better than that. He's ignorant and unfortunately he was right when he said there would be others out there to take over his job. I know what he said offended you, but be the better man."

Nick leaned back against the wall. "I know, I know. Its just…" he groaned. "It's been a rough few days."

"Look, you did not need to come in today anyway. Go home early and get some rest. You look like you have not been sleeping well. We will take care of this." Grissom waited until he saw Nick nod his head.

"Okay, I'll go. But keep me filled in. This guy is responsible for shooting Greg."

"We know. We want justice just as much as you do. Now go on and let us get back to our job," Grissom said sternly.

"Sure, I'll get out of your hair," Nick said with a groan as he walked away.

On his drive home, he heard the words James Brannon said over and over again in his head. He was from Texas too. Wouldn't Greg get a charge out of that but it proved Nick's old point on why he was scared to tell his family. Although he knew his parents would never go as far as violence against him or other gays.

He thought about Greg and his reaction to hearing about the events that permanently changed his life. Maybe he got angry because he realized all this was due to a hate crime. Greg was always proud of what he was even though Nick made him hide their love in public and at work. But he still liked to go to all the gay bars and clubs because he fit in. Nick was always jealous of that fact that Greg felt so comfortable when he did not.

He wondered if Greg would ever get back the 3 weeks of memory he seemed to have lost. His memory of details of things seemed scattered. He had also noticed he would have to repeat something he had told him about from a day or two before. He had felt mad at Greg the night before after he told him to get out, but now he felt guilty. His doctor had been right, it was going to be a long difficult road for Greg and he already had a lot of problems. He did not need to be one to aggravate him anymore. He figured he would try visiting Greg again later on.

Nick had got some sleep before he went over to the hospital to visit Greg. When he got to his room he was sleeping so he sat down in a chair on the left side of his bed. He was glad to see that there was only a couple of IV drips attached to him unlike before. It was a sure sign he was improving.

He noticed that Greg moved his head a bit and groaned and then he moved again. He seemed to be having a bad dream. Suddenly his eyes opened and he was staring straight up at the ceiling.

"Greg?" Nick said to get his attention.

He looked over and saw his boyfriend sitting by his side. "Hey," he responded softly.

"Looked like you were having a bad dream."

He shrugged. "I guess. I don't really re…remem…ber."

Nick nodded. "So are we okay today?"

Greg seemed confused. "What do you mean?"

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Um, yesterday when you told me to leave."

"I did?" Greg seemed genuinely surprised. "I don't recall that."

"Really? What do you remember?" Nick was curious. "Do you remember me telling you how you got shot?"

"Yeah and …" he was quiet and seemed to be trying to remember what else happened. He finally shook his head and looked sadly at Nick. "I'm s…sorry. I can't th…think of anything else. What happened?"

"Oh you just seemed to be upset and I guess needed to be alone. Don't worry about it though," Nick smiled at him, even though he was worried about his short-term memory problems.

"K," he replied solemnly lowering his head.

Nick picked up on his down demeanor and felt compelled to comfort him again. He placed his hands over Greg's left hand. His big, sad eyes looked up at Nick.

"You're going to be fine. Don't worry about the little things. What matters most is that you are alive and communicating. Everything else takes time, but you're a survivor, Greggo. Just remember that. I love you, you know that?"

Greg smiled at him. "I love you too and am sorry I k…kicked you out yesterday, even though I do not remember it."

Nick chuckled a bit. "Okay, you're forgiven. So I wanted to ask you how are things with your right side. Can you move anything yet?"

"A little bit. Look." Greg's right hand was resting his stomach. He managed to move it up a little bit, but it seemed to take him a lot to do it.

"That's great, G. It is a step in the right direction." Nick grinned.

"I guess. I think it's rather pa…. pathetic," he scowled.

"It's not pathetic and neither are you," he told him in a serious tone.

Greg just looked away, silently. Nick figured maybe he could use some good news. "So the guy who shot you and the others was finally found and arrested today."

"Yeah? Did you s…see him?"

"Uh yes. I was there when they brought him in for interrogation. He's a piece of trash. Hopefully they give him the death penalty," Nick seethed.

"H…he got to you, didn't he," Greg said more than asked, knowing how emotionally involved Nick got in his cases.

Nick gazed at Greg, amazed at his perceptiveness. "Yes, I had to get hauled out by Brass and Grissom. Then they sent me home," he frowned.

Greg grinned. "That's m…my guy."

Nick chuckled. "Yes I am and I would not have it any other way," he smiled at him.

"You might recon…reconsider one day s…soon," he sighed tiredly.

"No, I won't," And just to prove it he took the chance and leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

Greg was surprised but then realized it felt like home for Nick to be kissing him. He had a satisfied grin on his face when Nick pulled away. "Thanks, I needed that," he admitted, blushing a tad.

"Anytime, beautiful." He blushed even more at the term of endearment. To downplay it he reminded Nick of something. "You know I am s…sort of bald right n…now. I w…won't look so g…good."

Nick smirked. "Right now you look like a Q-tip," he chuckled. "Besides your hair always grows so fast. I'm sure by the time they take your wrappings off you'll have some growth already."

He shrugged. "I suppose, but I've n…never had the bald look before ma…maybe I sh…should go for it," he smirked.

"No, you are growing your hair back. I will not be sleeping with Mr. Clean," Nick told him.

A small giggle emitted from Greg. "Okay, I wasn't s…serious anyway."

They sat quietly a few moments before Nick noticed Greg grimace in pain.

"Is it your head again?"

"Yeah," he moaned.

"Hmmm, why don't you go get some sleep again? I brought a book to read. I'll stay here."

"Thanks," he said. He gazed lovingly at him for a moment. "Love you."

Nick smiled warmly. "Back at you. Now sleep some, okay?"

"Yes s…sir," he replied feebly then proceeded to close his eyes and went to sleep.


	7. Home At Last Ch 7

_A/N-Sorry for the delay in a new chapter. I've been busy with working crazy hours and then have not been home a lot. But here is the latest chapter. Hopefully I will post another one later this week. Please review!! Thanks for reading!_

* * *

Another week and a half had gone by and Greg was being sent home. He had been having therapy sessions and had better mobility of his right hand and leg but he was still unable to completely support himself. So due to that he was going to have to be in a wheelchair for a while which he hated.

Between Greg's parents and Nick, they decided to let Greg stay with Nick until he was able to walk on his own again. Since Nick had to go back to work, Greg's mother was going to stay behind in Vegas a little while longer until she knew he would be okay to be left alone for any period of time. His father went back to California to go back to work while his mother still stayed in his apartment. She planned to come over during the hours Nick worked to look over him.

Greg sat up in the hospital bed, watching TV, waiting for Nick to come to take him home. He was glad to get out of the hospital but also a bit nervous at the same time. The nerves were because he felt like he was going to be a burden, since he needed to get around by a wheelchair and needed some assistance in doing things.

He heard the door open and he looked up and saw his doctor. "Well, I see you are ready to get out of here."

"Yes, just waiting on Nick," Greg told him.

"Good. I have your prescriptions and your physical therapy schedule here. Dr. Blouin told me that she thinks in another couple of weeks you'll be able to get around without a wheelchair with the progress you are making. Now remember to take it easy though. Do not push yourself too hard. Also if you get any kind of severe headaches that the medication will not help, come see me. That is very important. Minor headaches, well unfortunately is something you might have to get use to."

Greg frowned. "Understood."

"And just in case you do not remember everything I just told you, it's all written down on the back of your schedule," he smiled at his patient.

"Hmm, thanks." He hated that the doctor was probably right that he would not remember everything, but it was something he was going to have to get use to.

Nick peeked his head in the door. "Is this a good time?"

Dr. Myers looked at him. "You're timing is perfect. I just gave him his prescriptions and instructions for other things. It's all written down."

"Great," Nick came in with a wheelchair in tow. Greg rolled his eyes upon seeing it but knew he had no other choice. He could not stand long enough on both of his feet without his right leg giving out.

"Will you need any help?" Dr. Myers asked them.

"No, I can handle it. Thanks for everything, Dr. Myers," Nick said to him.

"You're welcome. I'm just glad things are going well. Take care, Greg. I'll see you in a couple of days."

Greg said his thanks and goodbye to the doctor before he left them alone.

"So are you ready to go?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

"That does not sound too convincing. What is wrong?"

"I don't know. I guess I am just nervous about…it's nothing," he pushed it aside.

"It's something, what is it?" Nick pressed him.

"It's just that…I don't want to be a bur…burden to you," he groaned.

"You will not be a burden to me. I would do anything for you."

"You shouldn't have to," he replied with a frown.

"Let's not fight right now. Let me just get you home, okay," Nick said through gritted teeth.

In the past week, Greg had been argumentative over stupid little things. Dr. Myers had to remind Nick that behavior changes were another affect of brain damage. That had to be it because overall he never really started arguments in the past, unless it was about Nick coming out of the closet to everyone.

He helped Greg slide into the wheelchair from his bed. He had brought him loose jeans and a graphic t-shirt earlier on to wear home. He still had bandages wrapped around his head but he had been wearing a stocking cap over it to keep his head warm.

He wheeled him out of the hospital to his SUV. He helped Greg into it and then folded the wheelchair and put it in the back of the vehicle. He came to sit in the drivers seat and looked at Greg, who had a distant look in his eyes.

"Are you ready to go?" Nick asked him, curiously wondering what was going through his head.

He nodded. "Yeah, let's go," he said looking at Nick finally.

The drive to Nick's place was quiet. Nick kept looking over at Greg, who was staring out the window.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Nick said.

Greg turned to him. "Hmm?"

"Just wondering what you are thinking about over there. You've been quiet."

"Oh nothing really, just enjoying being out of the hospital. W…watching the city," he replied, turning back to look out the window.

Nick felt like there was more to his silence than that but he decided not to push it.

When they pulled into Nick's driveway, Greg had a weird feeling come over him that there was something he could not remember but should.

"Your mom brought some of your stuff over from your place earlier," Nick told him as he brought the wheelchair around to his car door.

"I didn't have anything over here? That's weird," Greg commented.

Nick forgot that he did not remember when he cheated and was kicked out by Nick. "Oh, well she brought some clean stuff and took the other stuff back to clean," he lied. Greg did not need to know about their split now. Actually Nick was not sure if he would ever bring it up. It was in the past now and it did not matter to Nick now like it did before. He had moved on enough to forgive him for it.

"Oh, okay." Nick helped him into the wheelchair and pushed him to the door.

"Good thing your p…place is one level," Greg remarked as they entered through the door.

"Yeah, you would not even be able to get into your second floor apartment right now."

"Hopefully I can someday soon again."

"Maybe you should move out," Nick said with a smile, wondering if Greg would catch his drift.

Greg looked up at him. "Wait a minute! Does that mean what I think it m…means?"

"Hmmm…what do you think it means?" Nick stopped the wheelchair in front of the sofa. He sat down on it, facing Greg.

"You want me to move in, permanently?" He asked with surprise. "But what about your parents? Do they know about us yet?"

"No, I have not told them yet but once you are able to be on your own, I plan on going to see them and tell them in person," he told him.

"Hmmm, I guess in p…person is better than over the phone, but are you sure you r…really want me here all the time I mean, like I am now?" Greg felt Nick was just saying it to make him feel better.

"G, I've already told you, you are not a burden to me, so stop acting like you are," Nick told him.

Greg looked down, away from Nick's intense eyes. "Okay."

Nick sighed and decided to drop it. "Say, are you thirsty?"

Greg nodded without looking at him. "I'll be right back then and grab us some water." Nick got up and Greg watched him go to the kitchen. He wished he could have just as easily done it, but he could not yet.

Nick came back with the bottles of water and handed one off to Greg. He was now able to hold things in his right hand again but he was not at full strength yet.

"Thanks," he said as he opened the bottle and took a swig.

"So do you want to watch a movie or something?" Nick asked him.

He shrugged. "Sure." Nick frowned a bit not liking his uncaring attitude. He got out a DVD and put it in to play.

Greg moved to sit in the recliner chair to watch the movie. He found it hard to stay focused on the movie. His mind wondered more than normal. He grabbed his water bottle with his right hand and was about to take a sip when his whole arm started shaking. The bottle fell from his hand and spilled all over the floor.

Nick heard the bottle fall and turned to see Greg taking deep breaths, trying to calm down as the tremors went through the right side of his body. Nick had heard that Greg had this happen before but he was not around when it had.

"Are you okay?" He asked in alarm, seeing the panicked look on his boyfriend's face.

"Just give m…me a min…min…minute," he stuttered through the tremors wracking his body. When they finally stopped he closed his eyes and kept up with the deep breaths. Nick came over and knelt in front of him. He laid his hands on his knees, still frightened of having seen Greg shake so much.

"Are you going to be okay, baby? Do you need me to get something?"

When he opened his eyes, Nick could see the fear and sadness in those big brown orbs. "I think I should lay down and sleep some."

"Yeah! Sure. Let me help you to the bedroom." Nick helped Greg into his wheelchair and took him into the master bedroom.

"Do you want to take off your clothes and get into bed?'

Greg nodded. Nick helped him sit on the bed, but Greg pushed him away when he tried helping him undress.

"I'm not completely h…helpless. I can take my own clothes off," he groaned as he took off his t-shirt and jeans.

Nick just stood back and bit his lip as he watched Greg crawl into the bed and pull the covers up over him.

He thought how much he looked like a little boy all covered up in the bed, still wearing the stocking cap on his head to cover the bandages. He gazed at him for a while before decided to leave him alone to sleep. As he was almost out the door, Greg spoke.

"Sorry I yelled at you and made a m…mess on your carpet," he said softly.

Nick turned around and saw that sadness in those eyes that ripped at his heart. "It's okay, G. It was only water and well, I'm getting use to you getting mad about things."

He lowered his eyes, to avoid Nick's. "Have I changed that much?" He sounded like a little boy now too.

Nick came over and sat down on the bed next to him. "No, you haven't. You've just been more moody and Dr. Myers said that is to be expected."

He remained quiet, staring down at the bed covers. Nick knew that he was thinking he was a burden again and did not deserve all of Nick's attention. Nick had to make him understand how he felt.

"Listen, I almost lost you. When I came to that scene and I saw Jason, I was worried for him. It was not until he told me you had been shot and that the blood he was covered in was yours that I just about lost it. I thought you were dead. I…" he swallowed hard and continued.

"When he said you were shot in the head but was taken out alive, I should have had hope, but I didn't. A bullet to the head…I thought for sure…but here you are, alive…in our bed. I never want to go through that again. I thought I could live apart from you but then I realized I could lose you forever and knew I could never do that again."

Greg finally looked up at him with questioning in his eyes. "Were we apart?"

Nick forgot he did not remember. "We had a fight and well, were split at the time you were shot." He did not want to go into details. He saw no need to bring up bad memories for either of them.

Greg was shocked and somewhat mad now. "Why didn't you tell me this before? You know I don't remember things. Why w…were we fighting?"

"It's not important now, G. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I don't care about what happened. I almost lost you. I will not go through that again," he told him, feeling a bit angry himself.

"Things happen. There is no…no guarantee something will not happen ag…again, so maybe you would be better off wit…without me altogether."

"That's not going to happen. I love you, Greg. Don't you get it?" Nick felt exhausted suddenly.

"What if I don't love you?" he asked quietly, not looking at him anymore.

"Don't say that. I know you love me. You would not have begged me to take you back," he yelled. The second after it was out of his mouth he knew he made a mistake.

Greg's eyes went wide. "What did I do that I had to b…beg you to take me back?"

"Nothing. It's in the past. Don't worry about it," Nick said to him.

Greg sat up suddenly. "It matters to me. Tell me!" He yelled.

Nick knew he should not be getting so upset. Dr. Myers told him to make sure he did not get overly stressed. "You need to calm down."

"Then fucking tell me the truth, Nick!" He yelled.

Suddenly he cried out as he suddenly grabbed his head and buried it down into his hands.

Nick heard him whimper. He wrapped his arm around his back in worry. "Greg?" He could tell he was breathing heavily now.

"Damn it, answer me," he yelled, sounding panicked.

Greg slowly rolled over on this back again, resting his head onto the pillows. His face was scrunched up in pain.

Nick leaned over him, concern lining his features. "Can you hear me, G?"

"Yes," he said softly. He cracked open his eyes a little and looked up at Nick.

"Christ, you scared me to death nearly. Next time I say stay calm I mean it," he said as he looked down at Greg.

"What were we talking about?" he asked Nick, pain still showing on his face.

This was the one time Nick was thankful for his memory problems. "Nothing important. You're in pain. Just sleep some, will you for me?"

"Only if you promise to tell me later on what's going on?"

Nick smiled. "I will." He leaned down and gave him a kiss. "Now sleep."

Greg nodded and closed his eyes. Nick could tell he feel asleep almost immediately. He watched him as he slept for a little while before leaving the bedroom and closing the door to let him sleep in peace.

Nick sat down on his couch and buried his face in his hands, unable to hold back his own emotions anymore. He did not realize how emotionally draining it would be on him to have to see Greg go through this. He could never admit it to Greg but he had changed. His wild and energetic Greg was lost to him now. He had yet to see that side of him come out again. He hoped that given more time, he would emerge again.

Right now he would have to deal with the very moody Greg. That bullet changed both of their lives permanently. The behavioral changes were not the only things. Seeing him shake like he had spooked him. And then there was the sporadic memory losses, Dr. Myers told Greg he should try to keep a journal so if he forgot something, it would be written down for him to remember.

He wiped tears away from his eyes as all these thoughts ran through his mind. He heard a light knock on his door and went to answer it. It was Greg's mother.

"Hey Pat. He's sleeping in the bedroom," he said quietly as he let her in.

"Nick, honey, were you crying?" She asked as she looked up at his red puffy eyes.

He sighed as he sat back down. She sat next to him. "It's just that…. we had yet another argument. I accidentally let it slip that we had been split up when he was shot. He wanted to know why, wanting to know what he did. I did not want to tell him and he got really mad and then…gosh, I guess he had one of those shooting pains he gets and next thing I know is he's burying his head in his hands and whimpering. I would have rushed him to the hospital if he had not laid back and responded. Then he did not remember what we were fighting about. I told him to rest and I would tell him later on. Just all these changes in him are affecting me, more than I thought," he sniffled.

"Come here." Mrs. Sanders opened her arms and embraced Nick. "I know it is hard for me too. My beautiful, lively and happy boy is still somewhere there, though. I know it. He just needs more healing time and adjusting to his new limitations."

She let go of him and gazed at him. "I'm just so grateful he has you and that you have not abandoned him in his greatest time of need."

Nick shook his head. "I couldn't. He means too much to me, even if he cheated on me. He felt so horrible about it and I was really harsh on him. I don't want him to remember that stuff. He already seems to think I should get him out of my life, that's he's not worth it anymore. If he knew he cheated on me, he would use that as another excuse for me to leave him. It's all because he thinks he is a burden now and that is it."

"I'm sorry. I did not realize he was making things so hard for you. He knows he can't push me away so he does not even try. He remembers how I was with him as a child when he got sick or hurt. He always told me not to worry about him as an adult, but look at all that has happened to him lately. This was like a final straw and I would not let him out of my sight if it was not for you being so protective of him. I know if you had been there that night you two would have fought over who would take the bullet for each other," she chuckled a little.

Nick cracked a smile too. "You are probably right. None of this would have happened anyway if it were not for that bastard James Brannon."

"I know, dear. I guess we have to be grateful Greg was not among the dead. He's a survivor."

Nick smiled to himself. "Yeah he is. A damn moody one but he is alive and doing well considering. Thanks for the talk, Pat."

"When are you going to tell your parents, Nick? They could be here supporting you too," she said to him.

He shook his head. "Nah, I don't think they would be as understanding as you."

"You have not given them a chance," she simply stated. "Think about it. I'm going to look in on Greg now." She patted him on his shoulder and left him with his thoughts.


	8. Revelations Ch 8

_A/N-Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming. This chapter gets a little steamy and then there is a cool down between Nick and Greg. This is one of the chapters that caused the M rating, so hang onto your hats, folks. LOL Hope you enjoy and review!! :)_

* * *

Greg woke up later on and visited with his mother for a while. Nick and her decided not to mention what happened earlier unless Greg brought it up. He had not during the time his mother was still around.

She left Nick and him sitting on the couch watching a baseball game. After a while, Nick noticed Greg yawning. He was glad he had not brought up their argument from earlier that day.

"Are you ready to take a bath?" he asked him since he would have to assist him still.

"Hmm…yeah I guess," he replied.

"Okay, let's get it ready then." Nick helped him to the bathroom where he filled the tub up with warm water. He stripped off his clothes and smiled as Greg watched him from his perch on the edge of the bathtub.

"You're going to have to take off your cap so I can remove the bandages," Nick reminded him.

He frowned, as he had not let Nick see him without his stocking cap yet. He pulled it off gingerly. Nick smiled as he noticed Greg become almost bashful.

"Your hair is already growing back in. It's not so bad. Reminds me of the days when you had the faux-hawk going, the sides of your hair were cut very short, like now," he smirked.

"So I don't look like Mr. Clean?"

Nick laughed. "No, now come on. Let me help you into the tub."

Greg nodded and stripped off his boxers. Nick helped him step over the edge of the tub and then eased him down with him supporting from behind.

Greg leaned his back against Nick's chest and sighed, as he felt more at home suddenly. "Mmmm, reminds me of other baths we've taken together. It feels like forever since we've been like this," he said as Nick stroked soap and water over his smooth chest.

"Yeah, it has been a long time. We became too busy to indulge like this. I missed feeling you against me. Lean forward a little bit," he told him.

Greg felt the familiar light touch of Nick's fingers gently going over his old scars from the lab explosion and then washing over his back and shoulders. "That feels nice," he moaned.

"I'm glad you are enjoying it," Nick smiled.

Greg chuckled as he felt a familiar sensation press at his lower back. "I'm not the only one, Mr. Stokes."

"Yeah, well touching you does that to me," he laughed. He finished washing Greg down, enjoying the intimacy they were having. It had been a long time since they had been so close. Even before their fight, things had been somewhat low key, work being a major cause of it.

He drained the tub and helped Greg out of the tub, only to wrap a towel around him and sat him on the edge again. "Okay, I have to replace your bandage now."

Greg nodded but tensed up. Nick had not seen his wound before; the stitches that remained. When Greg first saw them himself, it horrified him. He immediately thought of Frankenstein.

Nick felt him get nervous too. He gently took off the one wrapped around his head. A large gauze bandage covered the wound itself. Greg winced as he peeled off the covering.

"Sorry!"

" 'S'kay," he whispered.

Nick swallowed hard seeing the stitches and redness that remained from the bullet's impact.

"Frankenstein, huh?"

"No, no. It's not that bad. Once your hair grows back thicker, no one will even be able to see it," he tried to console him.

"Probably but we both know it will still be there," he replied solemnly.

Nick cleaned the wound and then carefully placed a new bandage over it and taped it down. When he finished, he turned Greg's face to his and looked deep into those soulful brown eyes. "You know I love you, right?"

Greg nodded shyly.

Nick caressed his face and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Greg's hands traveled down Nick's muscle toned chest and stopped, hovering over his throbbing cock.

"Let me take care of this for you and show you how much I love you," he grinned up at his dark haired lover.

"You don't have to, Babe," he said as he ran his hand over Greg's shoulder.

"I want to." His hungry eyes turning on Nick even more.

Nick stood up to make it easier for Greg as he sat on the edge of the tub. Nick closed his eyes and moaned as his lover's eager mouth worked him.

Nick clutched Greg's shoulders tightly as he came, letting him take him all in. He had to lean against the tile wall to support his momentarily weak knees. "Damn, Greg. What you do to me," he moaned in a lusty voice.

His lover smiled at him, seeming pleased with himself.

Nick looked down at Greg and noticed he did not have his own erection. "The meds?" He asked him.

He nodded. "I assume so because I was turned on, believe me," he looked up at him.

Nick frowned. "Well I believe you and thank you. Now let's get to bed."

They both put on clean pairs of boxers and Nick helped him to the bed. As he got comfortable in bed, he noticed Nick not getting into it with him. "What are you doing?"

"I was planning on sleeping in the guest room."

"What? Why?" Greg asked in surprise.

"I just thought for now you would be better off sleeping without me," he told him.

"Nonsense, I want you here next to me. I want to feel your arms around me. To feel…safe," he said sheepishly.

Nick had not realized that he felt unsafe up until this point. He now recognized a slight fear in his eyes and so he crawled over to him on the bed. He threw back the sheets back up over them.

"Is this better?" He asked as he draped his arms across Greg's chest.

"Much," he replied as he snuggled closer to him, feeling relived and comforted enough to fall asleep right away.

--

Another couple of weeks went by and Greg never mentioned the fight that he and Nick had. Greg's mother stayed with him while Nick went back to work in the evenings.

His ability to walk with his right leg was improving enough that he only needed a cane to lean on. There would be occasional tremors still, usually in his right arm when he tried writing or became agitated. He was getting use to them but it was still frustrating.

What did bother him most was his memory. Things came and went. He could always tell when he asked something that he already asked about before but forgot. Nick would act a bit differently; almost telling him like it was something he should know. He wished he could change that but he could not.

Jason and Aaron came over to visit with him. They had not seen him too often since he was shot and Greg had a feeling he knew why.

They sat down and Greg decided to dive into it right away. "So you two have been avoiding me pretty much since I was shot. Do you all somehow feel guilty that I got shot and that's why you avoid me?"

Jason and Aaron looked at each other, feeling remorse. "Are we that transparent?" Aaron asked sheepishly.

"You all should not feel that way. If it had been one of you who got shot instead of me, there would be some guilt but you know, what's done is done. Look here I am all good and just some minor issues I'm dealing with but overall I'm okay. Just let it go."

"It's harder to do than say. I mean I know I see you all well in front of me, but I can also see your blood all over my hands. It's not that easy," Jason said to him.

Greg looked down. "Okay, I guess I can see your point. We've been friends since college and it would be hard for me to see you like that too."

"Good, now no more talking about that. How are things with you and Nick? You seem good."

Greg smiled. "Things are good. He dotes on me too much still but things seem normal. I mean why do you think they would be different?"

Jason and Aaron looked at each other, remembering how miserable he was before he was shot. "Oh no, reason just wondering."

"Well he asked me to move in, which I guess was a shock of sorts."

"Oh yeah? That's great. So he has told his parents about you two then?"

"Uh well that, no not yet. He said he wants to go in person and tell them."

"Really? Well that is progress at least, right?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, it seems. We use to fight about it a lot, I remember. He said we had a major fight before I was shot, but I can't remember why. Was it that again?" He asked, fishing for answers.

"Uh, you know I don't remember what it was about. That was probably it," Aaron said, looking to Jason for assistance.

"Yeah probably that was it," Jason said quickly.

Greg could tell they were lying. "I know something other than that happened but no one will tell me and I am really starting to get pissed off about it. It's hard enough knowing I can't remember things but then you all won't even fill me in," he was getting upset again. "I feel stupid and like you all do not trust me. It hurts," he sighed, closing his eyes to hold back tears.

Jason really felt guilty now. He had not realized how holding things back was making Greg feel. "Did you tell Nick this was how you felt?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't want to burden him with my issues more than I already have."

"Yeah but if you had told him maybe he would tell you the truth," Aaron added.

"So you are all keeping something from me. Why were we broken up? It was something I did I get the feeling. I didn't cheat on him did…did I?" He asked suddenly getting a faint memory of him begging Nick to take him back.

Jason blew out a breath. He hated that he would have to be the one to tell him. "Yes, you cheated on him one night while you were at Oasis with us."

A dawning came over Greg as he remembered a drunken night at the Oasis. He did not remember the actual part when he cheated but he remembered Nick throwing him out of his house. "Oh my God! I remember some of that night now. You both took me home after Nick kicked me out. I really cheated on him?" he asked since he did not really remember the act.

"We saw you just as you were finishing in the back hall at the club," Jason told him.

"Finishing what? Come on, I don't remember. Just tell me. If I did it, I can handle knowing what I did," he flared up at them.

Jason looked at Aaron to save him from Greg's growing anger. "We literally caught you with your pants down, finishing receiving a blowjob from a guy who looked a little like Nick. Nick came to the club that night and saw you two in the middle of it. You were toasted but still it was…"

"Our 3 year anniversary. Ahh fuck it, I remember. I remember it," he finished. He buried his face in his hands. "And he took me back because I got shot in the head."

"He loves you, Greg. That is why he took you back," Jason told him.

"No, he felt obligated; guilty, probably like you two, that it was not him that got shot."

"That's not true. You know that deep down."

"Yeah, maybe. Look I need to be alone for a while and figure things out before he gets home," he told them.

"I don't think you should be alone right now," Jason said with concern.

Greg glared at him. "Look, I am not helpless. Dr. Myers said I am well enough to be on my own now and it's not like I have not been before. Now please, leave me be for now," he asked them through gritted teeth.

Aaron poked Jason. "He's right. He can take care of himself. Let's go home."

Jason did not want to leave him alone but he did not want Greg angry with him either. "Okay, we will go, but if you need anything, do not hesitate to call us."

Greg walked them to the door, using his cane and then locked the door after they left. He went back to the couch and slumped down on it.

'_I cheated on Nick, on our anniversary of all days. How could he take me back after such a betrayal? No_, _he would not have done it_. _If it weren't for me being shot_,' he just knew it. It was sympathy that made him take him back. He was right all along. He did not belong there. Nick had kicked him out before he was shot. He was well enough to be on his own now. It was time he was again.


	9. Painful Truths Ch 9

_A/NI got some more fluff in this chapter but mostly angsty stuff because it's what I like to do the most. :) --Reviews make me happy and will have me posting more sooner :P  
_

Nick came home from a tiring shift at work. He was looking forward to taking a shower with Greg and then cuddling up and sleeping. But when he walked through the door he realized he would have none of that. He saw two bags packed and Greg sitting down on the chair by them.

"Greg…why are your bags packed?" He wondered as he dropped his keys on the kitchen counter.

"You threw me out, remember, because I am a whore. So I am moving out," he said, trying to keep his emotions in control.

Nick's mouth dropped open, realizing he remembered what happened. Collecting himself, he asked him, "Did you remember on your own or did you have help?"

"Jason told me what you couldn't. He triggered the memory," he said coolly.

"Greg, I don't expect you to move out. What happened is in the past," Nick explained, hoping Greg would not make this a big deal.

"Tell me, Nick. If I hadn't been shot, would you have taken me back?"

"It was almost three months ago. I don't know, maybe not but it does not matter now. I love you and we are together as we should be."

"No, it does matter to me. I cheated on you, on our anniversary and you would not take me back then. Then suddenly I am shot and suffer brain damage and now you feel obligated to take care of me. I won't have it. You say you love me but you just pity me," he yelled.

Nick was getting a bit angry now. "Damn it, Greg. Why do you keep doing this? Do you not want to be with me anymore? Is that why, because if it is, just say it already."

"You deserve better, someone who did not cheat on you. Someone who is not messed up in the head, literally," he replied somberly.

"Stop saying that," Nick told him through gritted teeth. He hated him degrading himself so much.

"It's true, Nick, whether you like it or not. I have permanent brain damage. My memory gets fucked up at times. I have tremors all the time, and other times I can't understand things I should. I'll never be the same man you fell in love with. I'm just …I'm a mess," he sniffled and turned away from his lover's intense gaze, not wanting him to see him about to cry.

Nick bent down to his level and turned his chin to face him just as a tear escaped from those expressive brown eyes he loved so much. He smoothed it away with his thumb. "Greg, I love you. I don't care what you think is wrong with you. You are being too hard on yourself. I honestly think when you realized you cheated on me it affected you worse than it had me. I was furious but you were completely miserable, begging me at one point to take you back. Even our co-workers asked what got into you. You kept to yourself so much. I actually wondered a little if you did not purposely try to take that bullet."

Greg's mouth was agape in surprise but then he thought a moment. "I don't know."

"I know you don't because you can't remember that night. But you scare me sometimes just because you are so emotional now and it worries me what you might do. I don't want to even have to think about loosing you again, G," he confessed.

"See I told you I'm not the same," he said sadly.

"Hmm, I'm thinking you're still pretty much the same just on a different level of strange. I mean you can still irritate the hell out of me." He got a little smirk out of his remark from Greg. "But you are still the man I fell in love with and am still in love with. You even still have a goofy hairstyle."

"Hey now! It's still growing in. It'll be better in a few more weeks," he pouted, as he touched his hand to his head.

"You're still sexy as hell to me and you still have those incredibly beautiful eyes that I drown in every time." Greg blushed.

"Oh and most importantly," he traced his fingertip along Greg's bottom lip. "You have the most delicious lips I've ever tasted." He moved closer to him and brushed his lips across his lover's. His lips parted and Nick took the invite, relishing his lover's taste as tongues fought for dominance.

Greg finally pulled away to catch his breath. He stared at the incredible man before him. "What was it we were talking about?" He asked innocently.

Nick gasped before he caught Greg's Cheshire cat grin. "I got you," he giggled before laying his head on his partner's shoulder.

"I'm sorry for being so difficult and for cheating on you."

Nick wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "Just believe that I love you and forgive you. Personally I think you are getting cabin fever. You need to get out besides just the therapy sessions and other doctor appointments."

"Hmm, no I just need to stay here with you," he mumbled as he breathed in Nick's scent.

"No, maybe I will take you out to dinner tonight since I am off," he told him.

"No, I don't want to go anywhere."

Nick pulled back and studied him a moment. He saw some fear in his eyes. "You need to get out some, Greggo. Why don't you want to go out? What are you afraid of?"

He shook his head and did not meet his eyes. "Nothing, I just rather stay home."

"Are you afraid of people seeing your scar? You can wear one of your crazy fedoras."

"No, I just don't want to go out," he said more firmly.

Nick realized what it was suddenly. "You're afraid it might happen again, aren't you?"

Greg looked away. "Maybe I am. Maybe I am scared some wack job homophobe will see us together in public and want to kill us. Maybe you were right all along, it would be better not to come out to people in public."

Nick rubbed his arms in a soothing manner. "Did you remember that night too?"

He shook his head. "No, but from what everyone has told me, it was scary as hell. I don't want to remember his rants and calling us all names and then shooting at everyone. And I don't want to go through something like that ever again."

"G, you can't stay inside forever. What about work?"

"What about work? I can't go back with all my problems," he sighed.

"Why can't you still be a CSI? If you are worried about your memory issues, use a voice recorder as you collect evidence. You're basically able to walk without a cane now."

"I still get tremors. What if I am holding evidence and I get one and I drop the evidence and contaminate it?" He asked sadly.

"You know what, let's just take it one day at a time. You are stressing yourself unnecessarily. Why don't you just join me in the shower and then we can catch some sleep together, because I'm as tired as hell and you need your rest," Nick told him sincerely.

Greg rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement about needing sleep. He was tired from worrying so much. Nick was right and he hated to admit it.

--

He opened his eyes, as he felt soft kissed being placed on his shoulder and back. He felt the strong arms embracing him and he moaned gratefully.

"Hmm, Good morning or is it afternoon," he asked his lover.

Nick looked over his shoulder at the clock. "Almost evening but not quite." Then he went back to kissing his neck.

Greg rolled over on his back to give him better access. He always loved how Nick's mouth felt against his skin. Nick's mouth met him while those rough hands of his came to tease a nipple. Greg groaned into his mouth. He could see Nick's cock standing erect against his stomach. He felt his own cock hard. His lover's hot mouth traveled down his body and it was driving him wild. He writhed under him. "Fuck, already."

Nick looked up amused, his lips hovering just above Greg's abdomen. "What was that?"

"Damn, I want you inside me now," he said in a low growl.

He looked at him, raising his eyebrow. "Are you sure? We haven't since you were shot."

"I know and sadly I can't remember when we last did," he scowled.

"Two months, 3 weeks and…4 days, I believe," Nick said reflectively with a grin.

Greg chuckled. "I guess someone needs some."

Nick grinned hungrily at Greg and then captured his mouth again, savoring his taste. He ground his hips against his younger lover, causing him to thrust up against him. He trailed his mouth down his body.

"In…me…now," the younger man groaned into his lover's mouth.

Nick leaned over to the nightstand to grab the lube and a condom out of the drawer. He gently prepared his lover and himself before he entered him slow and gentle. He watched Greg's face as he gasped and then pleasure took over his features. He thrust with him in rhythm.

"Harder…damn," he groaned. Nick obeyed his commands. Soon they both came almost simultaneously.

Nick collapsed next to Greg when he was finished. "Damn, you're so amazing," he said huskily.

"Me? You're the one who practically fucked my brains out," he paused a moment. "No pun intended," he smirked.

The Texan looked at him and was glad to see the small smile on his face. "So are you feeling okay?" he asked him.

He turned his head and gave him a curious look. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know but I just worry about you and want to make sure you are feeling okay."

"I feel great so no worries," he smiled and then leaned over to kiss him. "You know, it's starting to feel a little like old times again. You and me laying here in bed after hot sex. I can remember that much," Greg sighed, happily.

Nick laid on his side to get a better look at his partner in life. He had been quiet for a while. He ran a hand over his head. "Your hair is almost grown out to how you had it before. The scar is hardly visible now."

"Yeah I've noticed," he said sounding a bit more somber now.

Nick sat up and gazed at him, noticing his sad look. "Why the long face?"

He sighed. "I was just thinking about something."

The Texan raised an eyebrow. "Can you elaborate on that?"

"There's something I have not told you about me," he said ominously.

Nick wondered what sort of thing Greg was about to tell him. He had not thought he cheated on him again. "What is it?"

"It's about work. I'm not so sure I'll be able to handle parts of it anymore, complicated parts of it," he said cautiously.

"Why not? Because of your short-term memory problems? I already told you how to solve that," he told him.

He shook his head. "No, it's something else. Something I discovered when I was trying it read some stuff and...and well I brought it up to Dr. Myers."

Nick stared at Greg, wondering what was wrong. "Well spit it out, what's wrong?"

"I…uh, things get jumbled up in my head…sort of. I can't seem to make sense of the information like I should be. I can't retain information I read. Well basically dyslexia is what Dr. Myers said I seem to have. Words are jumbled and it is frustrating."

"How long have you know about this?" He asked, wondering how long he had been living with this knowledge to himself.

"A…a few weeks now," he said sadly. "You see, I just…I won't be able to do my job right. I'm…I'm useless." He was trying not to cry but he could not prevent the tears from falling.

"G, you are not useless. We'll figure something out. I am sure of it," he told him soothingly.

Greg shook his head. "I'm just sick of there always being something now. I feel stupid when I can't remember things and sometimes I can tell you get annoyed." He looked up with watery eyes. "I'm afraid you'll grow tired of it…of me and I'll lose you. Then no one will want me." He started sobbing and Nick took him into his arms and held him tight as he trembled.

"Shhh…no, now that is not true. I will always want you. And I am sorry if I seem annoyed when you forget things. I'm not annoyed with you; I am annoyed that this happened to you. That you have to suffer the rest of your life for what some homophobic asshole did. It's not you, babe." He held him tight, rubbing his back in comfort. He was still not use to his emotional breakdowns seeing as before he was shot he rarely got emotional about anything. This time Greg truly seemed to be having a mini breakdown, seemingly everything finally taking it's toll on him.

After a few minutes Greg withdrew himself from Nick's embrace. He wiped his eyes and then looked at him and sighed. "Sorry about that. I guess it just all finally got to me."

Nick smiled at him. "It's okay. I'm getting use to it. You can cry on my shoulder anytime you need."

He smiled back a little. He put his hand around the back of his lover's neck and drew him in for a kiss. He gazed into his lover's dark brown eyes. "I love you, Nicholas Stokes." He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Nick's.

"I love you too, Greg. Just hang in there. We'll get through this together." He sat up straight to get a better look at Greg. "Now you got to be starving. Do you think you can brave going out to dinner with me? No place special, just dinner wherever you want."

He shrugged and looked down. "I'd rather eat in tonight," he looked up and saw his partner seem irritated. "Just tonight. I promise next time you ask I will go. Can't we just order in Chinese and watch a movie or a game if one is on tonight? Please," he gave him his puppy dog eyes.

Nick smirked. "You kill me with that look. Okay we will order in. I suppose you want your usual." He nodded in response. "Fine, I'll order it. Why don't you see what we can watch on TV?"

Greg smiled and got out of bed. "I'm going to clean up first and then I will be out there."

Nick pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and went to the kitchen to order their food.

A few minutes later Greg came out and sat next to Nick on the couch. He had already placed the order and was just waiting.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yep," he answered simply.

"Well, aren't you going to pick something out?" Nick asked him.

"Pick something out?"

"Something as in, to watch?"

"Oh," he said sheepishly. "I forgot, sorry."

Nick frowned after he got up to pick a movie out of their DVD collection. He had to remember to not get mad or seem irritated when he could not remember something.

Greg came back and sat down.

"So what are we watching?" Nick asked him.

"Ferris Bueller's Day off. I haven't seen it in ages and I need a laugh," he grinned.

"What do you mean? We just watched it…" Nick stopped himself. Greg did not remember again. He saw his face fall.

"When…when did we just watch it?" He asked quietly.

"About a week ago, but it's okay. We can watch it again, really." Nick said quickly hoping he would not get upset.

Greg got up and went to the DVD player. "No, we will watch something else. I don't want you to be bored if we only saw it recently. I can't help it I forgot."

Nick felt bad for raining on his parade. Greg held up another movie. "Have we seen this one recently?" It was Gladiator.

"I thought you wanted a comedy?"  
"I changed my mind, so have we seen it or not?" He asked impatiently.

"No, go ahead." Nick sighed. He had upset him even though he tried not to.

The rest of the evening they hardly talked. They just watched their movie and ate.

Nick had leaned his head on Greg's shoulder after the movie ended. "Do you want to watch another? It is still early."

He shook his head and then turned off the TV. He turned to look at his dark haired Texan. "I just want to be with you." He ran his hand under Nick's t-shirt, feeling his abs flex under his touch.

Nick smiled. "I can deal with that." He wrapped his hand around the back of Greg's neck and pulled him forward for a long passionate kiss.

"Thanks for your patience with me," Greg said softly as he laid his head on Nick's shoulder after the kiss.

"You're welcome." Nick smiled as he held him.


	10. Coming Out Chapter 10

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews again. This chapter has some strong words in it but again it is for storyline purposes. I hope you enjoy this pretty intense chapter.**

* * *

Nick woke up, smiling as he felt his lover's arm draped over him. He gingerly slid out from under it, trying not to wake him up. He still required a lot of sleep.

He sat up and looked at the clock. It was eleven in the morning. He left the bedroom, deciding to make some breakfast for them.

He was mixing some pancake batter when he heard a light knock on the front door. Dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain back t-shirt, he opened the door. The people on the other side of the door surprised him.

"Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?" He asked in shock.

His mother gave him a hug and kiss and then swept in past him. "We decided to pay our son a surprise visit," she told him.

"Hello Pancho," his dad said as he hugged him. "I have a conference here in Vegas starting tomorrow so we decided to come by a day early and visit you."

Nick's mouth hung open as they both just let themselves in. "I see you have more furnishings in your place now. A bit eclectic I must say," his mother said as she looked around his living room.

He swallowed hard realizing half the stuff she saw was Greg's. _Greg!_ He was in the bedroom sleeping. This was a disaster waiting to happen. He had to tell them now or get them out of there soon. He figured it was just time to tell them…to just dive in.

"Well Mom, Cisco, I am glad you are here. I've been meaning to come home and have a serious talk. There is something I need to tell you about me that I've been hiding from you too long. You might want to take a seat."

"What is it, son?" His mother asked, suddenly concerned.

"Please just sit," he asked them again. They sat down on the couch and he sat down in front of them on his coffee table.

"Pancho, what is it?" His father asked.

Nick fiddled with his fingers nervously. "Ahh, well, huh…I'm in love with someone."

"Oh dear, you're getting married. Oh our boy is getting married," his mother jumped to conclusions.

'_That was not the right way to start this,_' he scolded himself.

"Uh," he chuckled nervously. "Not exactly. Oh hell, I'm just going to say it. Mom, Dad, I'm gay." He watched their expressions carefully change from joy to utter shock.

His mother's mouth was open while his father's eyes seemed to suddenly burn with an underlying fury.

"Nick, who's here? I heard some…" Greg stepped out of their bedroom, thankfully dressed in jogging pants and one of Nick's Texas A&M t-shirts. He saw Nick's parents and froze in place. He looked to his partner who just shook his head in disbelief of this bad timing.

"You're gay? Since when? What about all these women you claimed to have been with? You're a queer you mean to tell me? And is this your little faggot boyfriend?" Bill Stokes suddenly yelled in a rage as he jumped to his feet.

"Bill, please, don't! What's gotten into you?" Jillian Stokes pleaded with him.

"No Jillian, I want to hear what he has to say!"

Greg edged cautiously into the kitchen, feeling somewhat frightened by Nick's father.

Nick stood up to his father. "I've known I've liked men for years now. The women were just me testing myself. I've just been too scared that you would react like this. And you have no right to call Greg any names. He's been through enough."

"I don't care what you or your little faggot boyfriend have been through. No son of mine is gay. You are a sinner. Did you not learn anything from church when you were a child? You are both going to hell!" He yelled, as his face turned red with fury.

"Bill, please stop this. He is our son," Jillian begged.

"He is a homo, Jill and living with his faggot boyfriend here. They are abominations," he yelled.

Mrs. Stokes started crying. "What's has gotten into you lately, Bill? He is our flesh and blood for heaven's sake."

Nick was about to rip into him when he heard glass break. He turned and saw Greg grasp the counter with one hand and lower his head as he winced in pain.

"Greg?" Nick rushed over to him in a panic to hold him up as he seemed like he might pass out. "Hey take it easy!"

Then he looked at his sobbing mother and his enraged father. "I want you to leave now! Get out!" He yelled at them.

Jillian Stokes was sobbing as she grabbed her husband and pulled him out of the room to the door. "I'm so sorry, Nick," she said in apology to him before she closed the door.

Nick hardly heard her, as his main concern was Greg. He walked him slowly back into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asked, his voice laced with concern as Greg had buried his head in his hands.

"The yelling…it…it makes my head hurt. But…but that's not really it."

Nick could always tell now when something really upset him greatly. He would always his words now. "What is it, G?"

He lifted his head and looked at Nick with terrified eyes. "I remembered something."

Nick put his arm around him. "Tell me."

"I re…re…remember the Backlands from that night. He came in screaming, calling us all faggots and queers and that we were going to hell, going t…to…to die. I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Then…I don't know." He looked down shaking his head as tears came to his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay." He held him close.

"Then your dad…I'm sorry I ever pressured you to tell them." He leaned his head against Nick's neck. "I'm sorry," he sniffled.

Nick could not believe he was apologizing for his own father. "No, don't you dare apologize for what my father said. I should be the one apologizing for him. What a total asshole he is. I can't believe he said those things. I don't care what they think. I just want to make sure you are okay. Does your head still hurt?"

"A bit," he mumbled.

"Look, lay back down in bed. I was about to make us breakfast. I'll bring it to you in bed."

He nodded and got back into bed while Nick went back into the kitchen. He picked up the broken glass that Greg dropped. Then he slammed his fist down on the counter in fury at how his father reacted and how it caused Greg pain. They could disown him if that was the way they were going to be. He wanted nothing to do with them in that case.

He came back in with a tray of food with two plates of pancakes and sausage on it, plus 2 glasses of orange juice. Greg sat up in bed and his boyfriend crawled up next to him.

"Pretty crazy morning, huh?" Nick commented as he took a bite of his pancake.

Greg picked at his food but had not taken a bite. "Yeah a bit."

He could tell something was bothering him. "You know my father had no right calling you that," he told him.

"Do you think they might be right? That we're all going to hell? That we are sinners?" he asked softly.

"They are fools, all of them who think that. Who are they to judge us? They are no one. And if we are going to hell so are all of those hypocrites, you can't listen to them. Don't give them credence," Nick told him.

"Maybe you were right in keeping us being a couple a secret," he said while still playing with his food.

"Are you listening to me at all?" Nick asked angrily, getting a bit frustrated.

"I am." He rubbed his hand over his face. "It's just after everything…there are times I wish…I wish I was normal, you know?"

"You wish you weren't with me?" he asked in surprise.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, that is not true." He gazed at his boyfriend. "No, I need you. If you had not been here through all of his, I don't think I would be where I am at now."

"Yeah but what you were saying is if you weren't gay this would not have happened, so that means we would not be together," he explained.

Greg fell back into the pillows and stared at the ceiling. "Geez, Nick. I don't know what I am talking about half the time lately. I'll probably forget this whole stupid conversastion by tomorrow."

"I know this is hard for you. I wish there was more I could do for you," he sympathized.

Greg grabbed his hand and squeezed. "Just being here and listening to my babble is good enough. Oh and cooking me breakfast, that earns you bonus points." He smirked at him and then kissed him on the cheek.

"That's nice to hear. So let's eat then," Nick chuckled. They finished eating and Greg helped him clean up.

Nick drove him to his physical therapy session. He only had one a week, now that he did not need to rely on a cane anymore. He still had strength issues in his right arm and hand that they still worked on though.

x x x x x

When they got home, Greg went to take a nap while Nick tried to keep himself busy reading some forensics journals, but he could not keep his mind off of his father's reaction. He could not believe his father was being so ignorant and horrible to his own son.

There was a knock at the door and he got up and looked out the peephole first this time. He saw his mother. He hesitated on whether to answer it. He did not see his father so he decided to answer it.

"I'm not in the mood, Mother," he growled at her. He could tell she had been crying.

"Nick, please. I came alone. I want to apologize for your father. He's been acting strange lately. I don't feel the way he does, though. Please can I come in? Can we talk?" she begged him.

He sighed heavily but offered his hand to show her in. "Thank you, son. You have no idea how shocked I was by your father's reaction," she said as she took a seat on his couch. He ended up sitting next to her.

"You know I expected him to be non-approving but I was not expecting the slurs out of his mouth," he said honestly.

"He's been under a lot of pressure at work lately. He has not been acting himself. He gets angry a lot lately and acts like he hardly knows me. I mean I know that is no excuse for how he was though," she sighed.

"No, it is not an excuse for what he said and called us," Nick responded angrily.

"I know, I know. My dear son," she caressed his face. "I am so sorry. I want you to know it does not matter to me that you're gay. I know you're still a wonderful, loving man. Speaking of, how is Greg? Your father's words obviously upset him greatly."

Nick bit his tongue to avoid lashing out about just how much it upset him. "You have no idea what he has been through and how hurtful Dad's words were to him," he said with some heat behind his words.

"I know it had to be horrible. Is he okay?" She asked him out of concern.

"No, he is not okay. He will probably never be okay again. He was shot in the head about 3 months ago due to some homophobic asshole that decided all gays needed to die," he told her angrily.

She gasped, covering her mouth. "Oh my God! I had no idea, Nick. I swear," she practically sobbed.

He took a couple deep breaths to calm down. He knew he should not take out all his anger and frustration on her. She was trying to make amends.

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry. It's just been a really rough day since that outburst. Greg had not remembered that evening until Dad called him those things. It took him back to that night. That was why he freaked out a bit. That and the yelling gave him a headache."

"So he obviously survived the bullet, but how is he really?"

"He suffers from short term memory loss, has occasional tremors in his right hand and what has been the hardest for me to adjust to is his moods and depression. Greg was always full of life and mostly positive, but now he is so pessimistic and gets upset so easily. He's the same man I loved for the past 3 years but it just does not always seem like it." He sniffled and lowered his head, ashamed of what he was about to admit. "I miss how he use to be. Does that make me a horrible person?" He looked at her as tears filled his eyes.

"No Son, that does not. It makes you human. I am sure he wishes he was not like this now either," she told him comfortingly.

"No, he doesn't. Every once in awhile he tries to push me away, saying I deserve better. But no matter how he is, he is the only one I want, the only one that really knows me. When I thought he could die, I did not know how I would go on without him," he told her.

"So you've been a couple for 3 years? You were together when you were buried alive?"

He nodded. "It was early in our relationship."

"I remember him hanging back during all the events then. He was very quiet but also very determined to find you," she told him.

"Yeah? We were keeping our relationship secret. I knew he told me afterward he was freaked out about losing me. I know how he must have felt now."

"Yes, but you recovered from that pretty well. From the sounds of it, he is not so lucky," she said solemnly.

He slowly nodded his head. "Yes, and unfortunately we both know it."

"Hmmm, well how are things, uh…physically between you? Gosh I can't believe I just asked that," she blushed.

He chuckled some. "I can't believe you just did either. But to answer your question, we are doing well in that department. I think that is the only time he feels normal and that he can truly still make me happy. Otherwise he too often says he feels like a burden to me," he said sadly.

"It is good that he has such a beautiful, loving boyfriend," she smiled and then laid a kiss on his forehead. "I'm proud of you for standing up to your father. He deserved to be kicked out. I just hope he comes to his senses soon. I know he was sulking because I would not talk to him."

"Let him sulk," he grumbled, choosing rather not to see him again unless he apologized to both of them.

They heard a noise and looked up. Greg came out of the bedroom and upon seeing Mrs. Stokes, froze in place.

"Hey sleepyhead! It's okay, she comes in peace," he said.

His eyes went from her to him and seeing as his boyfriend looked calm he moved again. He came over and sat down in the reclining chair to Nick's right.

"Hi Greg. I'm terribly sorry about the things Bill called you. He had no right," Mrs. Stokes told him sincerely.

He fidgeted in the chair, his uneasy eyes traveling to Nick again. "It's okay," he replied softly.

At seeing his boyfriend's continued discomfort, Nick laid a hand on his knee. "It's okay. She is cool with us. I've told her about what happened."

His big chocolate eyes showed a bit of relief. "Oh."

"It's horrible what happened to you but I am glad to hear you are doing fairly well," she told him.

"Yeah, thanks," he replied, still feeling a bit awkward.

"Relax Greg, she does not bite," Nick smiled.

Greg narrowed his eyes at him a moment before nodding and a small smile coming to his lips. "Okay."

"Are you working tonight, dear?" his mother asked him.

"Actually I was scheduled to, but I called in."

"Why?" Greg immediately asked him.

Nick looked at him. "Because I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay after everything that happened today."

"You don't have to keep worrying about me. I'm doing okay," he groaned.

"I know, but I do worry and after almost losing you I have every right too," he replied sternly.

He rolled his eyes and pouted a bit.

Julian Stokes could not help but smile at the two of them. She could clearly see the affection they had for each other that even showed through their little argument.

"You know, I'm going to go now. I just wanted to stop by and apologize for Bill's outrageous behavior. I really hope he comes around for both of your sakes." She gazed at her son. "I love you, Nicholas and I am very happy that you found someone to love you as much as I can clearly see Greg does."

"Thanks Mom, I really appreciate that," he smiled at her.

She turned to Greg and smiled. "And as for you, I hope we get a chance to know each other better and I wish you the best in your on-going recovery. Take care of my boy," she grinned.

He flushed a bit and nodded his head. "I will and I also hope we can get to know each other better."

"Good, well I'm going to let you boys be. I'll call you next time before I swing by. We are in town for few days for his conference. Hopefully he will grovel for forgiveness by the end of those few days," she smirked. She kissed them both on the cheeks before Nick escorted her to the door to leave.

After she was gone he came back and sat by Greg, who moved to the couch.

"You're glad she came by and at least approves of us, aren't you? You look less stressed," Greg commented as he sat down.

He leaned back and sighed. "Yes, it does make me feel better. Maybe she'll make my dad come around, too. She can be pretty persuasive when she wants too."

"Well I'm happy you feel better about it." Greg smiled as he leaned against Nick.

"Yeah. So you had a nice nap?"

"Yep, slept like a baby," he smirked.

"So since I called in, how about we grab a bite to eat out tonight?" He watched Greg cringe. "Come on, nothing will happen I promise. I will protect you." He got a small smirk out of Greg on that.

"Hmm, I'll go out only if you promise me that I can have my way with you when we get home," he grinned mischievously.

"Oh, well that I can promise you. I will be all yours," he laughed.

With eyes glinting, he responded. "You got yourself a deal, then."


	11. A Little Fun Chapter 11

**A/N- This is one of the chapters that made the Mature Rating on this...so beware ;) If you are a LOVE fan you will enjoy. I really appreciate reviews...so please feel free to leave some. :D**

Greg got out of the car, cautiously, looking everywhere for possible signs of danger. Nick just grinned and bared it, as he knew his boyfriend was being overly cautious.

They went to what Greg considered a safe restaurant, a T.G.I. Fridays. He told Nick that he figured they would not have to worry about some hate mongering type person coming in there. Nick basically thought you could be anywhere these days and be a victim but he did not tell him that.

When they got seated, he scanned the restaurant carefully. "Will you stop that? We are fine, geez," Nick scowled at him under his breath.

Greg glared at him from across the table. "Fine, I'll stop being so paranoid," he huffed.

"There, there be nice or no slave for you tonight," he teased him.

"Hey, you promised!"

"I did and I am kind of looking forward to it."

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Kind of? That hurts."

He smiled at Greg, seeing some of his old self come back. "Okay, more than kind of. Now can we order something? I am starving here."

They ordered and made idle chit chat during their dinner. As Nick went to pay the bill, Greg spoke up. "I guess I need to try to talk to Grissom about getting back to work. All my medical bills are coming in and I can't have you paying for them."

His partner looked at him, surprised. "So you've thought about giving work a shot?"

"Dr. Myers said I need to try to be more active and work would be good for me," he said sheepishly.

"Well, I think it would be great too. When do you plan on talking to him?"

"One of these days," he shrugged.

"Hmm, such enthusiasm. Let's take that enthusiasm home," Nick smirked.

As they were walking to the car, there was a loud bang. Greg froze in place. Nick saw an old car go by, smoke trailing behind it. He looked at Greg and saw a terrified look on his face. He laid his hand on his shoulder and he nearly jumped.

"Hey G, it was just a car backfiring."

Greg's wide eyes turned to look at him. He let a breath out through his mouth he did not know he had been holding in and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know I am jumpy. I just can't help it."

"It's okay. It's to be expected. You know how I can still get about bugs or seeing graves."

He nodded. "Yes I know. Let's just get home."

Greg was quiet on the drive home. Nick decided not to press him on it.

When they got home, he wondered if Greg would still be in the mood, given his mood changes of late. He decided to make the mood come to him.

The minute he had closed and locked the front door, he grabbed Greg's head in his hands and pulled him in for a long, intense kiss. Greg was breathless when he managed to push Nick away. He glared at him. "Hey, you're supposed to be the sex slave tonight!"

"Oh thank goodness, I thought you forgot," Nick smirked at him as he stared into his shocked eyes.

"That's one thing I would never forget, Nicholas Stokes, you being under my command. Now," he grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom he stood before him. "Now strip for me," Greg commanded with a mischevious look in his eyes.

Nick loved him like this, the wildly wicked Greg Sanders. He tantalizingly took off his clothes. As his boxer briefs dropped at his feet, he could practically see Greg salivate. When he was fully naked he blinked innocently at him. "You have far too many clothes on still. Shall I help you?"

Greg could not believe how lucky he was to have such a beautiful man like Nick. His body was perfectly muscle toned and tan. He never understood how Nick could like his slim frame.

"You may help, but do not touch the goods," he grinned, trying hard not to laugh. He noticed Nick was already half hard and he was halfway there too.

Nick slowly started unbuttoning his shirt and then unzipping his pants. Greg was watching his every move, licking his own lips with desire.

He carefully pulled down his underwear, making sure to lightly brush his fingerprints over Greg's throbbing cock. He saw his lover bite his bottom lip at the touch. Nick always marveled at the toned, slim physic that Greg hid under his baggy clothes. He looked somewhat scrawny with clothes on but naked he was gorgeous.

Greg stared with lust at the specimen before him who stood ready for the next command. "On to the bed," Greg commanded before he could lose all control over his night. He walked to the dresser drawer and pulled out two sets of leather handcuffs.

Nick was surprised when he saw them. Greg had not been as daring in the bedroom since he was shot. This was something he was not expecting but was pleased. As he was being cuffed to the bed, he asked, "Don't I get to please you tonight?"

Greg nodded. "Oh you will. You are all mine tonight. I am having my way with you. I get to torture and pleasure you all at the same time," he grinned deliciously.

"Bring it on then, Master," his lover said huskily.

xxxx

Greg had his arm draped over his lover's muscular chest, a blissful look on his face. To this day, Nick was amazed at the stamina his younger lover would still have after all he had been through.

"Hey, are you going to take these things off me yet?" He asked tugging at the handcuffs.

Greg lifted his head lazily and looked at him. "I suppose I could, if you ask nicely," he said coyly.

"Please Master, free me?"

He chuckled. "Okay, that was more than I expected." He reached up and pulled the pin lock out to unlock them, one by one and then tossed them on the floor by their discarded clothes. Then he went back to his previous position and yawned.

"Yeah I think it is time we get some sleep," Nick said as he brushed his hand over Greg's ever growing hair.

The younger man looked him earnestly in the eyes. "Did I make up for being such a pain in the ass?" He paused a moment and then smirked. "Um, no pun intended."

Nick laughed. "I'll take that kind any day. But I know what you truly mean and I've told you, you are not a burden to me. But feel free to make it up to me anytime the way you did tonight, if you feel that way." He earned a smile from him.

"I love you so much. I'm glad I took the risk and asked you out."

"I'm glad you did too. I love you. Now let's get some sleep."

Greg nodded and snuggled closer to him before easily drifting off to sleep.

--------------

He woke up and looked over to see the man he loved still asleep, as was usual since the shooting. The doctor had not been kidding when he said he would require more sleep all the time. He wondered how he would be at work if they had to do overtime like they so often did.

He started to crawl out of bed when Greg grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "Hey, no going anywhere yet!"

He gazed over at him, his deep brown eyes smiling at him. "I thought you were still asleep?"

"Nah, I was just resting my eyes, hoping to fall back asleep, but then you moved," he said sleepily.

"Well, you can stay here and sleep."

"Noooo, you stay too. Why do you always have to get up right away?" Greg whined.

"Because I just can't stand wasting time lying in bed like you," he told him.

"Hey I resent that and besides all you do is waste time watching TV then. Wouldn't you rather stay here, all snuggled next to me?" He asked, batting his eyelashes, making Nick laugh.

"You nut! Okay I will stay a while today because you know I can't resist those puppy dog eyes you are giving me now," he chuckled.

He threw his arm over Nick's chest possessively and grinned. "Yep it never fails."

"So do you want to come in with me tonight and talk with Grissom?"

Greg scrunched his face, not understanding. "Why?"

"Why? Because you said you wanted to see about getting back to work last night?" he said to him.

"Oh I did, huh? How can I go back to work when I cannot recall that conversation," he sighed and turned away from the Texan.

Nick frowned and wondered a little bit more himself how he could work with his memories coming and going. He grabbed Greg's chin and turned him to face him again.

"I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out. In the meantime, I think you should come and find out what your options might be."

Greg gazed at him a moment, trusting his judgment. "Okay, I will go."

He smiled in return. "Great. I know everyone has been asking when you planned on coming by. They all miss you. And aside from those who have come here to visit you, you've not seen some of them in a while."

"And some I hardly miss," he smirked. Nick knew exactly who he was referring to.

"You know Hodges has asked me about you once or twice, although I admit his way of asking is not always in the best way," Nick laughed.

"I don't want to know."

"Yeah, well aside from him, everyone else has shown genuine concern," he told him.

"Hmm, I'll see them when I am ready." He flipped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

Nick could tell he was in 'that' mood again. He did not want to deal with it. "Look, I'm going to take a shower, want to join me?" He asked with a mischievous raised eyebrow.

Greg shook his head. "No, I'll stay here longer."

"Are you sure? You could help wash me, you know how dirty I can get," he said trying to lure him.

"No, go ahead," he said nonchalantly.

"Fine." Nick got up and went into the bathroom, feeling slightly frustrated again. He started the shower and stepped in. It was only about a minute later when he saw the shower door open and Greg come in. He looked over his shoulder at him. "Feeling dirty?" he asked him.

Greg snaked his arms around his waist and replied, "Yes, I decided I was very dirty." He grabbed the soap out of Nick's hand and proceeded to suds up his chest, paying special attention to his nipples.

Nick leaned back against him, moaning as his lover teased his nipples. Then Greg's expert hands washed over his back and down to his ass. "So dirty," he whispered seductively in his ear, taking a nibble on it after.

After enough seductive torture by his suddenly eager partner, Nick spun around to face him. He grabbed the soap out of his hands and proceeded to wash down his chest, very much in the same manner but keeping his eyes in direct vision of the brown lust filled ones before him. He pressed his slick body against Greg, throbbing cocks grinding against each other.

"I need to have you now," Nick growled. He turned Greg around and the Californian braced himself against the wall, allowing his lover full access to him.

Nick bit down on Greg's shoulder after he grabbed the lube from the shower caddy. He placed some on his fingers. Nick slowly pushed his way in. Greg arched back feeling his finger in him. Nick slowly scissored his fingers in and out, readying Greg. Once he knew he was ready he added lube to himself. He gasped at his own touch he was so ready.

He moved closer to his lover, wrapping his arms around him. He placed the tip at his entrance and slowly pushed inside him. Greg called out and arched back. He bit his bottom lip. Nick slowly moved his hips back and forth.

"Faster," his lover hissed to him. Nick sped up, pushing himself in and out. He slowly slid his hand down Greg's wet chest and took his cock in his hand. He ran his hand up and down it squeezing the tip each time he reached the top.

"Oh fuck," Greg called out knowing he was so close. He arched into the Texan and again bit his bottom lip.

"Not yet," Nick told himself trying to fight it off. Nick slowed down just a bit, hoping Greg wouldn't cum too fast.

Despite him slowing down he felt Greg's hot juice run all over his hand. But Nick didn't last much longer himself. He released his seed into this lover.

"Damn, I love these types of showers," Nick sighed tiredly as he leaned against Greg before pulling out.

"Me too. I needed that pick me up." He turned around and kissed Nick tenderly. "Let's finish getting clean and get breakfast.

"Sounds good to me," Nick smiled and returned the kiss before finishing up showering.

------------------------------------------------

Later that day Greg was growing nervous about going into the lab and it showed. Nick saw him trying to write on his calendar and he saw his right hand start shaking again. He also heard him curse under his breath. He decided to not act like he noticed because he knew it only upset him. But when Greg threw his pen against the wall in frustration he could not ignore it anymore.

Greg immediately looked at him. "Don't say a word. I know what you are thinking. Just leave me alone," he growled.

Nick held up his hands in defense. "Fine, just don't put a hole in the wall." He received a dagger-throwing glare from his significant other. He waited a couple moments before bringing up the issue.

"So why are you so nervous about talking to Grissom anyway?"

He sighed and laid his head on the table. "I don't know. It's Grissom. I'm nervous around him. Now it is like laying out my life on the line to him to get my job back."

"You never lost your job, Greg. It's just that now your job might be slightly different," Nick told him.

"And that's what bother me. I won't be able to do some things," he complained.

"You don't know that yet for sure. You have not even tried yet. Just listen to what Grissom has to tell you, okay?"

"Okay, boss," Greg scowled. Nick just shook his head. He decided to not get into another stupid fight with him.

They finished dinner and got ready to go into work. Greg had been able to drive his car for the last month. At least none of his problems really hindered that ability. So he took his own separate car to the LVPD Crime lab.

Nick waited in the parking garage for him to pull up. He knew he was going to be nervous coming into the lab for the first time in over 4 months.

Greg pulled up a couple minutes later. "Sorry got stuck at that light," he told him as he got out of his car.

"So are you ready?"

He shrugged. "I guess. I don't have much of a choice at this point."

"You always have a choice. Come on, let's go in."

Greg nodded and nervously walked a step behind him as they came inside. First thing he noticed was a new girl at the reception desk. He just showed his badge as he walked in. She barely paid attention to him.

"Can we just beeline to Grissom's office?" he asked Nick.

"You don't want to say hi to anyone?"

"Not now, maybe after." He really did not want to talk to anyone. He was thinking they would all give him that look of wonder, wondering how brain damaged he really was.

"Okay then, to his office we go."

His door was open and they saw him sitting at his desk. He looked up over his glasses and saw them. "Nick. Greg! Nice to see you here. Why don't you two come in and close the door," their partially gray haired supervisor told them.

They did so and each took a seat. Greg looked down nervously.

"So what's this about? Do you want to come back to work, Greg?" He eyed his young CSI, curiously. He could clearly see his nerves.

"Um, yeah. I…I am wondering if I will still be able to be a CSI," he said to him.

"You do not think you can?" Grissom asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, uh I do have problems with short term memory. I mean what if I have to testify to something and I can't remember it."

Nick interrupted. "What I told him is he can bring a voice recorder and talk while he is collecting his evidence. That way it's all on record for future reference."

"Yeah but who wants to go through hours of recording just to find one little answer?" Greg rebutted.

Grissom got the feeling they had this conversation before. "I think it would be fine to use a voice recorder. We've been using them more often anyways."

"Well what if my gimp right hand acts up and I drop a piece of evidence and somehow contaminate it."

Nick was feeling his irritation with Greg grow again. "Stop trying to find reasons to not get back into work."

Greg glared at him. "It is a legitimate reason."

Grissom had to side with Greg on this one. "Greg is right, but if you feel unsure of picking up a piece of evidence, you could get someone else to do it. You can still mark it, take the photo and write in the evidence log," he suggested. He did not want Greg to lose hope in thinking he was still not capable of doing his job.

"I guess I could do that," he mumbled, realizing his boss had a point.

"So is there anything else you are worried about?"

"Um, not right now that I can think of," he shrugged.

"If you want you can join Nick out on his assignment tonight to see how comfortable you would feel back in the field," Grissom suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea, Greg," Nick said enthusiastically, but then he noticed his partner's expression. He looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Uh, no. I need more time," he said quickly.

"You've had plenty of time, G. Even your doctor said so," Nick told him.

"I'm not ready. I just wanted to talk about it tonight," he stated with some edge behind his voice.

"It is just a shadowing, Greg," Grissom offered as a better sounding solution.

"Yeah it is not a big deal," Nick added.

"I'm not ready I said!" He got up and stormed out of the office.

Nick sat there, stunned after he walked out.

"Are you going to go after him?" Grissom asked, curious why Nick stayed put.

He shook his head. "No, I'm not going to pressure him. I've learned it only gets him angrier or upset," he sighed.

"So he gets like this a lot now?" Grissom asked him, not realizing he had become so difficult.

"Yes, unfortunately one of the changes has been his behavior, his mood swings. He was never like that before or at least rarely. Now it seems he acts up daily."

"Has he gotten violent?" Grissom wondered.

"No, not so far. Most he has done is thrown a pen or a book or something small."

"Hmm," Grissom seemed pensive for a moment. "Well, when he is ready, I still think shadowing is a good idea for a few nights, just to see how his comfort level is out in the field."

"Yeah, I agree. I just hope he decides soon to come back."


	12. Making One Happy Chapter 12

Greg left the lab and drove around for a while to let himself calm down before going home. Once he was home, he grabbed a soda and sat down on the couch. He felt bad now about walking out on them like he had. Grissom probably thought he was nuts but it was true, he was not ready that night to go out in the field. He needed to prepare himself mentally for it first. He did not think Grissom would be so open to letting him back on the job. He needed to absorb that first.

But he was mad at Nick for being so bullheaded with him and practically forcing him into something he was not ready to deal with. His hand started trembling and he spilled some of his soda on his shirt. He groaned and took off his shirt and threw it on the ground, disgruntled.

He was getting a stronger headache. That was one thing he was use to now. He always had a low level headache but he never mentioned it to Nick. He had grown to ignore them, but this one was throbbing. He decided to lie down for a while on the couch and rest his eyes, but first he turned on the stereo and turned on some Etta James. Everyone thought that he just listened to loud noisy music but he actually had a very eclectic taste in music, which Nick had grown to appreciate too.

He made himself comfortable on the couch and closed his eyes and just listened to the music, slowly drifting off to sleep.

xx xx xx xx

Nick finished early and since he had not heard from Greg, he got permission to go home early. When he walked in and heard the music playing softly he knew that Greg was home and probably trying to relax due to his choice in music. He came into view and saw him lying on the couch, seemingly sound asleep. He saw his t-shirt tossed on the floor and gingerly picked it up and laid it over a kitchen chair. Then he crept over to him and sat down on the coffee table to just watch him sleep.

His smooth chest rose and fell more rapidly than he expected it too. It was then he noticed he seemed to be having a nightmare. Greg was making little whimpers in his sleep and his head lolled back and forth a bit. He did not want to startle him by waking him so he let him ride the nightmare out.

Greg woke suddenly, his eyes as big as saucers. He looked and saw Nick sitting there on the table.

"That seemed to be some nightmare," he commented as he laid his hand on his arm. Greg stared at him a moment, like he was a ghost and then he seemed to breath a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it was, but I am okay now."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He pondered a moment and then decided to go for it. It would be easier in the long run. "We were at a murder scene. We were in a room collecting evidence. I found the gun and I told you. I went to pick it up to bag it and my hand started shaking and I dropped it. The gun went off when it dropped and you got shot…in the chest." Greg inhaled deeply as he relived the nightmare. "I froze in place as you dropped to the floor, blood pouring out of your chest. You gasped, trying to call to me for help but I could not move. I was watching you die and I did it. I killed you. You took your last gasp and then I woke up." Greg let out the breath he had been holding in and looked at Nick. He hoped in telling Nick that he would better understand the fears he had about going back to work.

"Jeez Greg, is that what you are worried about happening? That something as rare as that is going to happen?"

Greg sat up on his elbows, staring at Nick. "I never thought I would be out one night, having dinner with friends and get shot in the head!" Greg said to prove his point.

Nick sighed and held onto his arm tighter. "I know you or I never dreamed that would happen, but that is besides the point. We already told you, you did not have to touch the evidence if you felt unsure. Someone else can do it for you."

He scowled. "So that means I have to be babysat."

"Well it is that or you stay home everyday for the rest of your life, moping around like you've been doing lately," Nick replied snidely. He caught the hurt in Greg's eyes before he lay back down and turned away from him.

When he did not respond to him, Nick had a feeling he got through to him but just did not want to admit it. He also knew he was depressed again and hated seeing him that way. He needed to cheer him up and he knew just what to do given his current position.

"Close your eyes," he told him softly.

Greg finally looked at him again, curiosity in his eyes. "Why?"

"Because you need to get out of this funk and I know the perfect way to do it," Nick smiled at him.

Greg narrowed his eyes at him a moment before deciding to go along with whatever it was. "Okay, fine."

When he had his eyes closed, Nick crawled on top of him. Greg reopened his eyes. "Hey watch the goods there with your knees."

"Shut up and close your eyes," he commanded with a laugh. Greg rolled his eyes at him before closing them again. The next thing he felt sent vibrations through his body. A hot, wet mouth landed on his right nipple. He gasped as the tongue flicked it. The mouth moved to the other one and he bucked under Nick.

"Jesus," he gasped as Nick rubbed his hips against his.

"Shhh," he heard before his lover captured his mouth. He felt Nick's hands travel down his chest until they reached the waistband of his pants. He skillfully unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He laid his hand over the throbbing cock under the thin material of his boxers.

Greg had to push him away a second to catch his breath. "Damn it, let me breathe," he laughed as Nick gave him a surprised look.

"Haven't you heard of breathing through your nose?" He grinned.

"Yes, but it's hard to do when someone is sucking your whole face in," he heaved.

"I know something else that I can suck." A mischievous grin crossed Nick face.

"Oh please do," Greg groaned.

"Close your eyes again, Babe." He obliged. Nick pulled off his own clothes and then worked on pulling off Greg's jeans and boxers, with his help. Once his lover was stripped down to nothing, Nick leaned the length of his body over his. Flesh touched flesh and Nick ground his hips against Greg again, causing his younger partner to moan as their cocks rubbed against each other. Nick started on his lips and trailed his tongue down his neck, paying attention briefly to suck on his Adam's apple, eliciting more moans from him.

Greg reached up to put his arms around him, put he was pinned back down by Nick. "No, you are mine today," Nick growled, his voice making Greg grow even harder.

His tongue trailed down his chest, down to his belly button, where he ran a few circles around it and then dipped his tongue in and out of it. Greg shivered below him.

"Fuck already!" he yelled to his dark haired partner. Nick looked at the sweat forming on his face but grinned seeing he still had his eyes closed. He went back to the task of torturing Greg slowly like he had to him the other night. He ran his tongue over the underside of his shaft. He noticed Greg clutch his hands into the cushions, trying to hold still under him. He finally took him completely in his mouth. As he worked up and down his cock with his mouth, he heard Greg cursing as he bucked up into his mouth. When he came, Nick swallowed him whole.

"Ah, fuck, Nick. Take me all the way, now." He begged him as he kept his eyes closed, his thick lashes lying against his flush skin.

"I planned to," Nick said in a husky voice as he planted a kiss on Greg's swollen lips, while grabbing for the bottle of lube and condom they kept under the couch for such occasions. He prepared Greg before rolling the condom onto his own throbbing cock. He thrust into Greg, making sure to hit his pleasure point while Greg arched his agile body against him.

"Ahh, Nicky, damn," Greg moaned loudly as he clutched the cushions tightly. Within seconds, Nick felt Greg's release again and Greg tightened around him, and he felt like he was going to die when Greg's rocking sped up. Nick came hard a moment or two later, and collapsed over Greg after tensing and shuddering through wave after wave of intensity.

After a few moments Greg shifted to his side so Nick could lie besides him on the couch. He pulled Nick's arms around him and kissed his hands. "How do you always know just when I need you?" he asked softly.

"Because we are soul mates. You know when I need you too," he said as he hugged Greg closer to him.

"Do I? I think I probably aggravate you more than anything lately." He said softly as he intertwined his fingers with Nick's.

"No, maybe sometimes, but you have your reasons for it."

"Yeah because I am fucked up in the head." Nick heard the self-pity resonate in his voice again. He squeezed him tighter.

"I hate it when you talk about yourself like that."

Greg rubbed his hands over his partner's arms. "I'm sorry. I know you do. I just get so…"

"Frustrated at times, I know," Nick finished for him in a gentle voice.

Greg sighed. "You've heard that before too." He turned his head slightly to look at Nick. "You know I forget things," he smirked a little.

"Ha ha funny. But seriously are you okay now, you know about work earlier?"

"Yeah about that, sorry I just ran out. I was just feeling…overwhelmed. I …I did not expect to be offered to go out right away. I needed time just to prepare myself," he told him.

"I think there is more to it than that. It's that dream for one, that spooked you."

"Yeah that is some of it I guess."

"What else is it?"

"I guess I, of all people, am now worried about what others will think of us, you know, being gay," he finally admitted to him. "I mean look how your dad reacted."

"Our co-workers are cool with it and we've always remained professional while on the job. No one else will know that we are, so don't worry about it. As for my dad, well as far as I am concerned, screw him!"

"But he's your father…"

"Yes and he is a total jackass. If he can't handle us being together and me living my life as I want to, I don't need him. The only person I need is you," he told him. He nuzzled against his neck as proof.

"If you say so, but I am not the only one not admitting my true feelings around here," Greg smirked.

"Okay, it bothers me, but I am not going to stress about it. I'm more concerned about you and when you will be ready to face the real world."

Greg did not like the way he put that but he knew what he was saying was true. He was scared of being out of the safety of their home for any long period of time now. He had never been afraid of being what he was until that fateful night. Now that he partially remembered it, it bothered him. He never knew now if he would run across someone who wanted to beat him or kill him because he was gay.

Nick noticed he had been quiet for a while. "Greggo, you okay?"

He just nodded in response. His fears were getting the best of him again. He felt tears coming on.

"Why don't we get up, clean up and grab something to eat?" Nick suggested.

"Can't we stay here a bit longer? I mean you got home early, what is the rush?" He asked in almost a whisper.

"No rush, we can stay put." But Nick sensed there was more to Greg's request than he said.

"Good," he responded and pulled Nick tight against him. He did not understand how Nick stayed with him through all of this. He knew he could get better than him. He knew he was different now and he hated it, but he could not help it. He was damaged now and there was no correcting it.

Nick could tell something was wrong with him when he remained eerily silent. "Hey, what's going through that mind of yours?"

He only shook his head, but Nick could sense something. He finally let go of him and sat up, pulling Greg up with him. He turned Greg to face him and saw the tears swelling in his eyes. He held his face in his hands. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head again and averted his eyes downward. "If I tell you, you'll get frustrated with me. But I guess if I don't you still will be frustrated, so I can't win."

"Just tell me," Nick said calmly.

Greg gazed at him. "You are so good to me. I just feel you deserve more, that you can do better than a defective like me."

He bit his lip before responding harshly. He had grown really tired of this routine, but he had to remember that he might not remember all the previous times he said the same thing.

"Look, I hate it when you cut yourself down like that. And as far as I am concerned you could have done better than some old coot like me." That achieved a small smile from his love.

"You're not an old coot." He saw the patient gaze in Nick's eyes. He finally sighed and wrapped his arms around Nick's neck and laid his head on his shoulder. "Thanks for putting up with me. I guess great sex can solve anything."

Nick pulled back and saw a little smirk on Greg's face. "It can't solve everything but it can't hurt, that's for sure. You know I love you, G. Even when you cheated on me, it was hard for me to keep away from you and you were always on my mind. You have my heart and I'm not taking it back no matter what," he smiled. He leaned his forehead against Greg's. "You and me forever, for better or worse. I'm not giving up on you ever again."

Greg smiled. "That's nice to hear." He planted a tender kiss on his lips. "I love you. I feel the same if you do, I just need to hear it every once in a while I guess, you know, stroke my ego."

Nick chuckled. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

TBC....

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_Reviews are loved and will make me write more Nick/Greg stuff in the future. :D_


	13. Forgiveness Chapter 13

Nick and Greg showered and had breakfast at home. Nick told Greg about his current cases that he was working on. He was hoping talking more about work would get him to come back sooner rather than later.

After a while Nick went to sleep, but Greg stayed up. He was watching television when the doorbell rang. He quickly got up to answer it, not wanting to have Nick wake up. He checked the peephole to see who was there. It was Nick's father. He took a deep breath, remembering the things he had said to him. He was scared he might start saying harsh things again but Greg knew if he were to start conquering his fears, dealing with Nick's father would be a good start. He did not think he would actually ever harm him.

He opened the door and saw Judge William Stokes, who seemed surprised at him answering the door. Greg did not say anything; he just stood firm, glaring at him,

Mr. Stokes cleared his throat, seeming nervous. "Uh, Greg, right? Gosh, I'm…I'm here to apologize for the other night. Is Nick home? I rather say it to the two of you at once. I was incredibly rude and pretentious the other night."

"He's sleeping now," Greg replied flatly, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, he works tonight, doesn't he? I should have checked before I…"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Greg turned around and saw Nick standing there sans shirt, hair a little messy but looking pissed as hell.

Mr. Stokes looked shocked. "Pancho, I came to apologize for the horrible way I reacted the other night. It was uncalled for. Can I come in and explain??" He pleaded with him.

Nick was furious. "There's no excuse for what you said and called us, called Greg."

His father opened his mouth but Greg spoke first. "Nick, why don't you try and hear him out? I'm willing to."

Both Nick and his father looked at him in shock, but for their own reasons.

"I can't believe after all he said to us, to you, you would hear him out," Nick said angrily, not believing he was willing to even talk to him.

"He came here alone. He seems sincere to me. Just do this, for me?" Greg gave him the puppy dog eye look he knew he could not resist. He felt Nick's gaze on him. He just shrugged his shoulders.

Nick clenched his teeth and walked away from the door. Greg took that to mean he was going to let his father talk against his better judgment. "Come in," he told Judge Stokes.

"Thank you, Greg for being understanding." He did not respond. He just hoped he was doing the right thing. He went over and sat down on the couch, in case it became a yelling match again between Nick and his father. He did not want to have to deal with a screaming headache while standing up.

Nick had been pacing but when he saw Greg sit down he decided to be a united front so he sat down next to him. He put his arm around his waist. Greg sat rigid and was just waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Judge Stokes stood facing them. "Pancho, I know what I said the other day was ridiculously homophobic and cruel. I just never dreamed one of my boys would be gay and then to see you living with another man at the same time, well it was overwhelming for me. I acted out in anger and shock and well I guess fear."

"Fear of what?" Nick asked him, curious what his fears were.

"Fear of something…well something happening to you because of you being gay. Then your mother came back the next day and told me she had talked to you and that Greg had been a victim of a hate crime."

Greg immediately looked down. He felt Nick's grip around his waist tighten. "Yes, he was and you coming in here calling us, calling him those names he heard that night triggered the lost memory of that night. He was devastated that my own father could say those things to us, to me, his own son, too," Nick yelled.

Greg felt the tension in the room get worse. But for a moment, William Stokes ignored his son and focused on Greg. "I'm terribly sorry about what happen to you, Greg. I am sorry I made you remember that painful night due to my uncalled for actions. I had no right to blame you either." He looked at his son again. "But there is something you need to know about me. Something I have not told anyone, something that causes me to go into these rages. I have Alzheimer's, Pancho," he said to him.

Nick's body went rigid and he felt the blood drain out of his face as he heard the news. He did not even feel Greg's arm wrap around him.

William Stokes saw the shock register on his face. "I only found out about a month ago. Your mother has noticed changes in me and so have I. I did not tell her I went to the doctor and got the diagnosis. I've been in shock myself. I've been having these moments lately of outbursts and arguments and memory problems. I found out I am in the moderate stage already. A lot of how I have been acting lately is due to the Alzheimer's."

Nick did not say a word, he was still trying to process that his father had Alzheimer's. On the other hand, Greg felt a sudden weird connection to Mr. Stokes. They both were basically suffering from brain damage in different ways.

"I know about mood swings and acting differently than how you should be. You do tend to say things you might not mean and hurt those you love," he told him.

Nick looked at his partner, realizing Greg was talking about himself.

Mr. Stokes smiled at Greg. "Thanks for understanding. I guess we sort of share something in common other than my son." Greg nodded. Mr. Stokes looked at how his son looked at Greg with such affection. It was still hard for him to grasp that his son loved another man, but at least he could see that his son seemed happy.

Nick still did not know what to say to his father now after this revelation. His father was basically living with a death sentence, maybe he could understand why he had got so enraged and yet it did not completely make up for it.

Judge Stokes felt uncomfortable in the silence. "Uh, well I said what I planned on saying, except for the fact that I love you, Pancho and I can see that you are happy with Greg and I can see that he truly cares for you. That is all I wish for you, love and happiness, however it comes. I'll be going now." He started heading for the door.

Greg suddenly spoke up. "Thank you, Judge Stokes. I appreciate your coming by to give your apologies." He turned around, slightly stunned by the one man who had no right to really accept his apologies accepting them. "Well thank you, Greg. You are a far better man than I imagined. I am glad my son has someone who so understands. And you can call me William," He smiled.

"I am also sorry about your condition," Greg added and then nudged Nick to snap him out of his stupor and say something.

"Uh, Cisco, gosh. I'm still mad about those things you said but in light of this news, I'm…I'm a little more inclined to try to get past it. You need to tell Mom."

"I know and now that I told you I will. You are the first in the family to know. I'll have to tell the others too," he said to his son.

Nick's head fell down to his chest. "It's going to be tough on everyone, but Mom especially."

"I know that's why I've been putting it off. I've been blaming stress at work and other things for my weird behavior since I have known. I am going to retire in a month," he told him.

Nick blew a breath out of his mouth. "I guess you would have to." He felt so torn now. Greg could tell he was in conflict. He rubbed his back in an assuring manner. Nick looked at him and gave him an appreciative smile. Then he turned his attention back to his dad.

"I'm willing to accept your explanation of why you had the outburst but I know from when I was younger you have issues with homosexuals. You can't tell me all of the sudden you have done a complete 180 on that," he said to him but his voice held no anger anymore.

"Honestly, I'm trying to accept it. Seeing you two at first was a shock but now I can see beyond the fact that you are gay. I can see that you two truly seem to love each other. All I ever wanted for you, Nick, is to be happy. Are you?"

Nick looked at Greg and smiled. "Yes I am very happy." Greg lowered his head a bit and blushed.

"Well I am happy for you than, the both of you and I truly regret what I said to you the other day."

"Okay, I will try to get past this as long as you are sincere now," Nick told him with a small smile

"I can accept that. At least you are giving me a chance. I wish the best to the both of you. I'll let you get back to sleep," he said to his son. "And hopefully we can get to know each other better in the future, Greg. Good bye now, boys."

Greg said goodbye and then Nick walked him to the door. "I'm glad you came after all is said and done. Tell Mom soon, she deserves to know as with the rest of the family." Nick swallowed hard as he felt emotions swelling up inside him. "I'm still really pissed off about what you said to us the other night but given this new turn of events, I wish you the best. I know Mom will keep me updated. I'm sorry Cisco." His eyes swelled up and he ended up hugging his father.

Greg watched the whole thing and knew how hard it had to be for Nick to do that after all that happened.

After saying goodbye to his father, Nick came back and sat down next to Greg. He was surprised when he threw his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. "You are a wonderful man, you know that?" Greg asked him gleefully.

Nick pulled back and stared at him in amazement. "Me? You are the one who is amazing. You so willingly forgave him after everything he said which had been mostly directed at you."

Greg looked down, a bit embarrassed. "Well, uh, to tell you the truth, I do not entirely remember that night. I mean I remember bits and pieces of it. Never the less, I needed to face a fear and facing him and accepting his explanation helps me face my fear of others…uh…opinions of us," he tried to explain to him.

"Okay so do you feel you have faced that fear now?" Nick questioned him.

He shrugged. "Somewhat, but back to you. How are you really feeling after hearing about your dad?"

Nick bit his lip and looked away. "I admit that was an unexpected blow. I can't believe he's known for this long and not told anyone. He's going to slowly get worse."

Greg nodded. "I know. My Grandfather Sanders had it."

Nick looked up, surprised. "Really? You never told me that."

"Well he died when I was young but I can remember bits and pieces. Like one time near the end, we visited him in the nursing home and he did not recognize us and started cursing at us to leave. It was rather upsetting." He looked down at his hands thinking about that moment and then remembering something his doctor told him.

Nick could see something was bothering him. "What's wrong?"

"You know that could be me someday too."

Nick stared at him shocked he would say that. "Don't say that!"

Greg looked up at him, his face serious. "It's true. You know what Dr. Myers said; things can get worse over time. It's possible. I'm coming to accept it. If you plan on spending the rest of your life with me, you will have to possibly accept it too."

"Greg, not now please. I'm just dealing with my dad," Nick sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. Greg scowled at himself.

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me. You look beat, why don't you go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, I am. I don't want to be dragging at work tonight. I'll see you when I wake up." He gave him a small smile and then disappeared into the bedroom.

Greg wanted to kick himself for being so selfish. All he thought about was himself lately. He was not really thinking about the toll all this had to be taking on Nick. He had to pay more attention to him and stop his self-wallowing. But Greg forgot he was not in control of his emotions that much anymore.

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Nick had woke up only an hour prior to him having to go to work so he and Greg did not have much time to talk before he left for work. Greg hoped when he came home from work they could talk some about how he was doing.

Shortly after he had left, Greg heard a knock on the door. He got up and was surprised to see it was Jason and Aaron. He had only seen them once since he was out of the hospital.

"Hey Greg. So sorry we have not been by in ages. How are you doing?" Jason asked him after Greg let them into the door.

"I'm doing okay. I might be going back to work soon," he said as he sat down on the recliner while the other two sat on the couch.

"That's great, Greg," Aaron said to him with a smile.

"So why haven't I seen you two since that last time?" Greg asked feeling a little bit mad at his friends.

Jason sighed. "I'm sorry. It's mostly my fault. I've just had troubles seeing you after I held you in my arms, bleeding so badly. That whole event just really messed with me. Aaron finally talked me into seeing a therapist."

"Yeah, he would not even go out anywhere until just about a week ago," Aaron added.

"Really? Nick just got me to go out a few days ago too. So I guess we have some of the same fears," Greg said to him in understanding.

Jason nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, how are things between you and Nick?"

He sighed. "It has been up and down. I'm more of a challenge now I guess you could say. I can be a burden to him I know, but I just don't know when I am doing it until it is too late and I've annoyed him."

"But you are still together, right?" Jason asked.

"Oh yeah. I mean I guess we are good overall. He told his parents about us. His dad flipped out but he had his reasons. He came by and apologized." Greg explained to them.

"Wow, so a lot had been happening. Again I'm sorry we have not been around. Maybe one of these days we can go out again."

Greg tensed up. "Uh, I think I'll need a bit more time before I can go out to one of our old hangouts again."

Jason patted him on the shoulder. "I know, I get it, believe me. Take your time. It's getting late. We will be going now. Take care, Greg."

Greg had not realized how he missed his other friends until they left. Nick had been right; he needed to get out more. Perhaps going back to work would be best for him.

He had a lot of time to kill before Nick came home. He knew he had to start trying to not sleep at night to re-adjust for their work hours. He stared at a pile of books Nick had brought for him to read. He had not had much luck with reading lately. He was leery of trying it again, but he had nothing better to do so he decided to try it again to kill his time. He picked up a book and sat back and relaxed with it.

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_Thanks for all your reviews. I really appreciate them. This part is coming to a close soon. I have already started a sequel to this one. :)_


	14. Healing Wounds Chapter 14

_a/n-Sorry it's been longer to post this then I planned on. Been working a lot and just too tired when I get home and I forget about the story. Well here is the second to the last chapter. Hope you enjoy. Only one chapter left. The last one is longer._  


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Nick yawned as he walked in the door. He placed his keys on the counter and that is when he noticed several books strewn about the living room floor. He bent down and picked one up. It was one of the books he bought for Greg to read. He frowned as he picked up the others and put them on the table.

He walked into the bedroom and saw Greg lying on his stomach on top of the bed, fully clothed. Nick took off his shirt and crawled onto the bed next to Greg. He laid on his side and stared at the back of his head. His hair had grown long enough now that it waved in the back. He could not resist the temptation to run his hand through it. Greg moaned and turned, cracking his eyes open to see his partner. "You're home," he mumbled matter of fact like.

Nick smiled a little. "I am. You're doing okay?"

Greg blinked his eyes at him. "Why do you ask?" Nick ran a hand over his back. "I had to pick up a mess of books on the floor. Want to tell me what that was about?"

Greg groaned and buried his face in the pillow. "I got frustrated with trying to read," he said through the pillow.

"How bad is it?" Nick asked with concern, massaging his back in a comforting motion.

He turned his head to face Nick again. He sighed tiredly. "I start off okay at first but then I can't focus on anything, the words, the story. It all becomes a jumble in my head. I just can't do it."

"Has the therapist been working with you on it?"

"Yeah but with no luck so far. Like my memory loss problems, so it seems this is something I just have to deal with."

Nick read the bitterness in his eyes. "I'm sorry, G. I did not realize it was that bad." Greg shrugged. "Yeah well that's because we have not discussed it much. You have enough to worry about already," he told him.

"Yes, but you are my priority. I want to worry about you."

Greg laughed a bit. "You can't seriously mean that."

"Yes I can. I can worry about you all I want," he replied defensively. Greg reached over and stroked his face. "That's sweet but I can't have you worrying about me at work too. I can't have anything happen to you. Who will coddle me then?" he smirked.

"I don't coddle you," he huffed in response. Greg smiled and rolled onto his side to face him. "You do but I enjoy it now. It makes me feel loved." He ran his thumb over Nick's bottom lip, staring at it seductively. "And I love being loved by you, even with my oh so many faults now."

"I do love you, that is for sure." He leaned in and drew Greg in for a long, passionate kiss.

"Hmmm, now that is what I like. So how was work today?"

"Same old same old. Some guy popped his wife off right in front of the MGM Grand because she blew all his money on the blackjack table. He tried to run but we found him hiding behind a dumpster. He tried to deny it but security cameras caught him in the act and we found his gun."

"Got to love stupid criminals that make our job easy," Greg grinned.

"Yes, that is true. So have you decided when you are going to try to come back and give work a try?" Nick asked him.

"Well I've been thinking about that and I think I will try tonight."

"That's great. I think you need to get out of here. You spend too much time cooped up."

"Yes, well I have been thinking the same thing," he replied. "It's another fear I need to try to overcome. I'm not sure how successful I will be but I guess I will try."

"You'll be fine I am sure. I know the team will be happy to have you around again," Nick smiled.

"Will you be happy to have me around more?" he wondered aloud.

"Of course I will."

"Hmmm, you want to show me and prove it to me?" Greg grinned mischievously.

Nick smirked. "I'll show you alright."

-------------------

He walked in nervously. Nick looked over at him, registering his nerves. "You're not going to bolt again are you?"

Greg looked over at him. "No, I promise I will stick this out."

"Good." Nick smiled. They walked into Grissom's office. He was expecting them this time as they had called ahead.

"Welcome back, Greg. So you are going to give it a chance tonight?" He asked him as he took off his glasses.

"Yes, I am. It's just me shadowing basically, right?"

"Yes, I think it is best to start you back that way and we'll see how you do and feel about progressing back full time."

"Okay. Will I be working with Nick?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, simply because he is most aware of your issues and best to handle them should anything come up." Greg nodded in agreement with that.

"Good, then I will have your assignments in a bit. I'll see you in the break room."

"I'm so glad you will be working with me," Nick said to him as they walked to the break room.

"Yeah me too."

"Well, well look who the cat dragged in." Greg looked up and saw the snarky face of David Hodges, the Trace Lab tech. "Hodges, you still work here? I'm surprised you did not brown nose yourself out of here," Greg smirked.

Hodges raised his eyebrows in surprise and then smirked. "One day soon, I will, you wait and see."

"Greg!" He turned around only to be enveloped in a hug by Wendy, the DNA tech. "I'm so glad to see you doing well and being back. So the rumors were true that you were coming back." She eyed Hodges with a smirk, who seemed jealous of the hug Greg received from her.

Greg took a step back after she released him. "I'm glad to be back. I've spent too much time at home."

"Well, don't be a stranger anymore, okay?" She smiled at him and then at Hodges before she went back to her lab.

"Um, I better go too," Hodges mumbled and went to follow after Wendy, but Greg stopped him briefly because he had noticed Hodges jealous look. "You know I am gay, right? No need to be jealous of me and Wendy but you might have to worry about yourself," Greg said with a wink, while trying to suppress a laugh.

Hodges looked at him horrified suddenly and took off.

Greg laughed after and Nick shook his head in amusement. "You're bad, you know that?"

"Hey that was great, you had to admit it. He is always bugging me, maybe that will hold him off for awhile."

"More than likely," Nick chuckled.

Warrick came walking into the break room. "Greggo, you're back?"

"For now I am," he replied happily.

"Well nice to have you back, man. I hope all goes well for you."

"Thanks," Greg said to him. He was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the attention he was receiving. Thankfully Grissom came in to give out the assignments, finally.

Nick and Greg had been given a shooting in Summerlin. Nick noticed Greg fidgeting a lot on the drive out to the scene. "Everything will be fine. Stop worrying. You have not forgotten your skills, have you?"

Greg looked over at him. "No, I do not think so."

"Good. Oh reach in the back and grab that blue box," Nick told him.

Greg looked in the back seat and saw a smaller blue box. He took it and held it in his hands.

"Well, open it," Nick told him with a smile.

Greg glared at him suspiciously before opening it. He took off the lid and saw a voice recorder. "That is your own personal one. I got it for you. You can download your recordings to any computer via USB," Nick informed him.

"Thanks. I guess this should help with things," Greg said as he picked it up and studied it.

"I already put batteries in it. I got you rechargeable ones. The charger is at home."

"Geez, you thought of everything. Whatever would I do without you?" He smirked.

"You'd be running around like a chicken with his head cut off," Nick laughed.

Greg scowled at him but proceeded to play with the recorder to see how it worked and get comfortable with it. Greg took his kit with him, as he felt more confident now that he might be able to do his job as normal.

He first helped Nick by taking photos of the scene. He fell right back into his work patterns easily. Then once Super Dave took the body away, he helped mark the different blood stains and bullet casings on the floor. The man had been shot five times in his own home. Nick found drug paraphernalia in the house. They figured it was a drug deal gone badly.

By the time they got back to the lab, Greg felt good about his job but he did feel exhausted. He helped turn in the evidence that needed processing and then collapsed in the break room.

"Well, you seemed to have no problems doing the work tonight," Nick said to him proudly as he grabbed a soda from the vending machine.

Greg had his eyes closed while lying down on the couch. "Yeah tonight went well at least. I'm just super tired now."

"Well you have to get re-adjusted to the sleep schedule."

"Yeah that is probably some of it," Greg said but his head was throbbing some too and knew that was the other reason.

"We can go home soon and you can get some sleep."

"I can't wait," he sighed as he closed his eyes momentarily again.

They finished up the rest of their work and then headed home. When they got home, Greg showered and went to bed immediately. Nick was not that tired yet so he sat in the living room and relaxed in front of the TV.

After about an hour, he got a phone call. "Hello?"

"Nick, it is your mother. Is there a chance we can meet for breakfast? We need to talk." He could hear the sadness in her voice. His father must have told her his news. "Yeah, I can meet you. Where?"

They discussed a location and agreed to meet. He left a note for Greg letting him know where he went. There was no reason for Greg to get up for this.

He saw his mother and father sitting in a booth at Frank's restaurant. He went over to join them.

"Good morning, Pancho," his father greeted him with a grim look on his face.

"Morning." He leaned down and kissed his mom on the cheek. She looked visibly upset.

"We leave town in a few hours and wanted to talk to you before we did," his father said to him and then added, "Your Mother now knows about the Alzheimer's. I told her last night."

Nick nodded and then looked at his mother, who gave him a weak smile. "I'm glad you know now too."

"I guess it really helps explain things over the past few months. I'm also glad he told you and apologized to you and Greg. How is he, by the way?" She asked him knowing how upset he had been about him.

"He's doing pretty good. Last night was his first night back to work. He's just wiped out from it though, fell asleep almost immediately upon hitting the sheets."

"But he is doing okay, otherwise, right?" She pressed on, remembering her conversation with him a few days prior.

"Well, he's always going to have the memory problems and apparently a few other things like his tremors and I guess he has problems reading now. He has dyslexia basically from his head injury. I know it is irritating him to the point of throwing books."

"Wow, well I am sure it has to be hard on him," she replied.

"Yeah, but it won't be easy for you two either as time progresses."

"We know," his parents replied together.

"I want you to keep me informed and make sure you tell everyone else," Nick told them.

"We will, Pancho, once we get back home. But the main reason we wanted to see you today was to let you know that your mother knows. I am hoping you and Greg can come out to see us soon, perhaps near the holidays," his father said.

"Really? The both of us as a couple?" Nick asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Yes the both of you. I need to some how make up for all the horrible things I said."

"Thanks Cisco. That means a lot, you inviting us for a visit. We'll see what we can manage."

"That's all I can ask for son. You know I do love you and am proud of you for standing up for yourself. But right now we better be going so we can catch our plane," Williams Stokes said finally.

"I love you both. Please take care of yourselves. Mom, call me if you need anything." He gave his parents hugs.

"You can call me too, son, if you need to talk." She told him. They said their goodbyes and were gone.

Nick felt good on his drive home. He did not feel any tension between his parents. That hurdle was finally toppled. At home, he walked into the bedroom and saw that Greg was still sound asleep. He cleaned up some before crawling into bed next to his partner.

"'S about time you came to bed," he heard Greg mumble. He turned his head and cracked opened his eyes slightly to look at Nick.

"Sorry I got distracted. I'll tell you about it later on." He wrapped his arms around him. "Just go back to sleep."

Greg snuggled into the embrace. "Plan to," he mumbled again and then smiled and closed his eyes.

Nick went to sleep with a smile on his face too. His parents had accepted him and Greg. His love's life was getting slowly back to near normal. Things were finally starting to look up again for them.


	15. Love Wins Chapter 15

**_A/N- This is the final chapter. I have started writing a sequel but it has a long way to go yet before I will start publishing it. New job has been keeping me busier than I thought it would. But thank you all for reading. Glad you have enjoyed! Tell me how I did on the ending.  
_**

* * *

A week had gone by relatively well. Greg seemed to be doing well with work. He was mostly just helping collect the evidence on the scenes. He did tire easily compared to how he use to be. He tried to avoid any lab reports or case file work because he was afraid he would not be able to read them properly.

It was midway thought his shift when Wendy came up to him. "Hey Greg, I can't find Nick. I got the DNA results for the SAE kit on that young girl. We have a match." She put the paper into his hands. He looked down at it. He had not looked at one since before he was shot. He could read the words okay but he could not understand the rest of the graphing and charts like he use to. It was like his years of study were gone. It was all foreign to him. He felt sick suddenly.

Wendy noticed him staring at it and not saying a word. "Greg, is everything okay?"

He looked up suddenly and threw the paper into her hands. "This is Nick's. Show him and leave me alone," he said quickly before darting out of the lab.

Wendy stood there flabbergasted. Hodges came by, after seeing Greg rush by his lab. "Was that Sanders who just ran by me?"

"Yeah he was acting strange. He threw the paper at me and said to leave him alone."

"Well if you ask me he has been strange since what happened…" Hodges shut up as he saw Nick coming around the corner.

"Hey Nick, Wendy has some DNA results for you," he told him quickly.

Wendy glared at Hodges before handing over the paper to him. "Uh, results from the SAE kit on the Jenkins case. We have a match."

Nick looked it over, seeing the results. "Great, now we can try to haul this guy in. Thanks Wendy."

"Uh, Nick, I had showed this to Greg just a few minutes ago and he stared at it for what seemed like a long time and then practically threw it back at me. He told me to show you and leave him alone. Then he took off. It was very strange. He seemed bothered by it somehow," she told him, concern in her eyes.

"Really? Which way did he go?" She told him and he thanked her before going to look for him.

He could not find him inside the building so he went out to the parking garage. He found him there, sitting in his car, with his head back on the headrest. He did not want to scare him but it was inevitable when he knocked on the window to get his attention. He needed to find out if he was okay.

When he knocked, Greg jumped and then glared at Nick when he saw him. He opened his car door. "What?" He yelled at him.

"No need to yell. Wendy said you took off in a hurry and then I find you here. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just needed some air," Greg scowled. Nick crouched down by him. "It's never nothing with you anymore," he said coolly.

Greg's eyes suddenly blazed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I did not plan on getting shot in the head and having brain damage for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just put myself out of my misery once and for all," he spat out in anger.

Nick became alarmed at his reaction and his response. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"You know what, I don't need this! Tell Grissom I wasn't feeling well and went home. Now get out of the way of the door so I can go," Greg told him, angrily.

Nick stood up but did not move. He glared down at Greg. "What happened? Where is all this anger coming from?"

Greg's eyes narrowed at him. "Just get out of my way, Nick. I mean it."

Nick stood his ground. "No! Not until you tell me what is going on with you!"

Greg was not having any of it though. He should have left right away he knew now. He did not want to have to explain his problems again. He pushed Nick back away with both hands, catching him off guard. He stumbled back in shock and watched Greg slam the car door shut. He heard the door lock and him start the engine of the car.

Nick was in too much shock to move and stop Greg from driving away. He had seen Greg get mad often but never to this point before. He stood there in the parking garage, replaying what he might have said or what might have happened that triggered his reaction but he really did not know.

He finally went back inside, feeling slightly dazed. "Hey Nick, where did you go?" Catherine came from the ballistics lab seeing him.

"Um, I just …uh, Greg was not feeling good so he went home. I just saw him go, but he did seem like he should be alone," Nick lied to her. He kept thinking about him saying he should just put himself out of his misery. He did not realize he was that miserable.

"You seem really worried about him. Maybe you should go home and be with him," she told him, noticing he seemed out of sorts.

"I need to talk to Grissom," he said feeling lost.

"He's in the break room," she told him, feeling concerned over him.

"Thanks." He went over to the break room where Grissom was getting a cup of coffee. "Um, Grissom? Greg went home not feeling well. I'm worried about him. He was um…acting strange."

Grissom raised an eyebrow. How so?"

Nick swallowed hard, not sure he really wanted to tell him the truth. "He seemed more tired than normal and possibly in pain."

Grissom did not believe Nick but he figured it was something more personal between the two of them. It was near the end of their shift, so he decided to let Nick go home.

"Go ahead and leave. Catherine and Warrick can cover for you for now. Make sure Greg is okay."

"Thanks Grissom. Thanks a lot," Nick said sincerely.

He got his stuff out of his locker and quickly headed to his car to head home.

--------------------

Greg did not want to go home, knowing full well Nick would come soon. He needed to get away from everything. He thought of a place he had not been to in ages, a place he could have some time to himself.

He drove out of the main Vegas area into the outlying, more mountainous region. Since it was still only 4:30 am, no one else was there. Earlier he was sure some people would have been there.

He parked his car near the edge of the hillside and got out. He lay on top of the warm hood of the car and stared up at the clear star filled sky, a sky normally hidden by the bright Vegas nights, but not out there.

He lay there staring up, letting his mind blank out briefly to ease the pain in his head. He remembered his pain pills in his pocket and took one out. There were small enough for him to swallow without water. He took it and hoped it would ease the steady throb that had developed.

He thought about what went down back in the parking garage. He was not sure why he got as mad as he did. It seemed like a blur to him. Nick had to be pissed and probably hurt. He should not have taken out his frustrations on him, but Nick was always there, the first one to react to. He did not deserve it. He still wondered how Nick put up with him.

He had been so upset. What was he upset about? He was not even sure now. His damn memory sucked. He hated feeling so useless. He was feeling panic rise in his chest and so he refocused on breathing in the cool night air and taking in the beauty of the night.

Nick could not find him at home and neither Jason nor Aaron had heard from him. He could not figure out where he went and he was not answering his cell phone. Suddenly it dawned on him. He called Archie in AV at the lab. "Hey Arch, can you do me a huge favor?"

"Sure Nick, what's up?"

"Can you trace Greg's cell phone for me? Don't let anyone else know though. He took off and I can't find him and I am worried about him."

"Yeah sure thing. I'll track his GDS. Give me a couple minutes."

Archie came back in a little amount of time and gave him Greg's location.

"Oh my God, why didn't I think of there? Thanks Archie. I owe you."

"Don't worry about it, Nick. It's slow here and it's for a good cause."

Nick thanked him and said goodbye. He could not believe he did not think of the place where Greg used to love to go to relax. He had been there with Greg a few times and knew he could make it there in 20 minutes.

Greg had fallen asleep but he heard a car coming and turned to see and immediately recognized the SUV. _'Damn, he found me,'_ he thought. Now he was going to have to try to figure out how to deal with him, calmly. He would let him make the first move. He went back to staring at the sky and waited.

Nick pulled up behind Greg's car so he would not be able to leave without him moving his own vehicle. He was going to approach him carefully and calmly. He knew something happened but yelling was not the way to get him to talk. He was just grateful he had not done anything rash.

He walked up besides Greg's car and stopped when he got near the hood, where he lay. He noticed him staring up at the sky. He looked up too. It was a beautiful night, soon to be dawn.

"The sun will be coming up soon. Remember that night we came out there and made love under the stars then stayed to see the sunrise?" Nick reminisced, hoping to start off on the right foot.

Greg smiled a bit. "How could I forget, your body glistening under the moonlight? I had to pinch myself to make sure it was real." He sighed then. "I don't know how you stay with me when you could get anyone. You're so gorgeous and you stick around with this brain-damaged lanky dolt," he replied solemnly.

Nick slowly closed his eyes at hearing the sadness in his voice again. It was a constant roller coaster ride of emotions with him now. It was back to him degrading himself and not thinking he was good enough for him.

Seeing his mood he decided to get to the core of the matter. "What set you off earlier, G?" He asked softly, coaxing him to talk but hoping he would not take it as a personal attack.

Still staring up at the sky he shook his head. "I don't know anymore. I feel like things are going well and then something happens to remind me how messed up I am."

"What was it this time?"

Greg shook his head slightly. "Something I should know like the back of my hand, a DNA report," he replied, feeling tears start to burn at his eyes.

Nick moved closer to him. "Wendy told me you threw a report back at her after staring at it briefly."

Greg bit his lip before replying. "I couldn't understand the detailed portion of the report. I use to be able to understand every little line and point on those results. Tonight, they just looked like lines and points on a piece of paper." He blinked and a tear escaped down his cheek.

Nick saw it and now understood his behavior earlier. He could not imagine suddenly not being able to read some report he has read for years, not being able to do some of this job anymore.

Greg pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I'm sorry I pushed you earlier. I…I don't know what came over me. I just…I just." He felt his hand being pulled away from his face. He looked and saw Nick taking it and kissed it. Nick hated seeing him in so much distress and sorrow in his eyes. He saw those pained big brown eyes and felt such a need to make that pain disappear for him.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me anymore. I understand and I know you are sorry. I forgive you."

Greg gave him a small smile as he blinked away another tear. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Nick cocked his head to the side. ""Hmm, you came into my lab all adorable and lanky, and then you smiled at me. I was a puddle at your feet after that. You have an amazingly beautiful and loving soul that seeps through those incredible eyes of yours." He moved closer and gave him a loving kiss. "Oh and you are an amazing kisser," he added after he pulled away slightly from him.

Greg smirked. "And you're a sweet talker." He scooted over so Nick could lie besides him. He took the invitation and lay on the hood next to his lover. "The sun will be coming up soon," he said idly.

"Yeah, I like it like this though, the dark. It hides the flaws."

Nick turned his head and looked at Greg's profile silhouetted by the moonlight, admiring the straight nose and slightly parted lips. He wondered if Greg would ever understand just how beautiful he really was. There was something he was still bothered by and had to ask Greg about it, because he could not stand to lose him. "I have something to ask you."

Greg looked at the Texan. "Yeah, what?"

"Back in the parking garage, you said maybe you should just put yourself out of your misery. Have you though about killing yourself?"  
Greg could hear the worry and fear in his voice. He heard it so much lately and he knew he was the one at fault for it. He could see the worry lines on Nick's face. He had to be truthful. "There have been times I've had thoughts were I wish I had died or would die. But I realize things could have been so much worse for me. I could have been permanently comatose or been more seriously damaged. I'm actually lucky I guess. Overall though, you are the one who keeps me sane, believe it or not. It is your dedication to me that keeps me going. I know this because…because as much as I think you would be better off without me, if I did not have you, I would not be where I am at now. I may have …put myself out of my misery by now without your love for me."

Nick clutched his hand tightly in his. Greg smiled at him. "Don't worry though. I have you so I do not plan on offing myself. I love you and I need you as much as I wish I did not."

Nick shook his head. "You don't know how much it means for you to say you need me, because I was starting to think you did not, with you always trying to push me away."

"I told you I was a pain in the ass," he said seriously.

"Ahh, but I have told you before I love that pain in my ass," Nick grinned, hoping his take on the phrase would lighten up the dark mood.

Greg chuckled, catching his tone. "Well I guess that pain can bring pleasure, although I think I'm the one who tends to have it more than you as you like to be on top mostly."

Nick shrugged. "What can I say? You bring out the animal in me," he grinned and then rolled on top of Greg, raising himself on his hands. Greg stared up into those dark, deep brown orbs that oozed confidence. "Do you want to relive that night that we brought up earlier?" Nick asked him.

He reached up and stroked Nick's cheek. "As much as I would love to, I think I need to head home to bed." He read the shock and disappointment on his face. "I'm sorry, Nicky, but I got this headache and I took some of my meds and you know how tired I get when I take some of them."

"Can you drive home okay?" Nick asked him with concern now.

"I should be fine if I leave now. I'll make it up to you, though, I promise." He pulled Nick's face down to meet his lips. "Okay?"

"Okay," Nick responded as he leaned his forehead against his lover's.

Nick followed him home, making sure he did not fall asleep behind the wheel. Once at home they both showered and went to bed.

When Nick woke up hours later, he was surprised that Greg was not asleep next to him as he usually was. He got up, blurry eyed and walked out into the living room where he found Greg on the phone. He held up his finger, letting Nick know he would be off in a minute.

"…okay. Thanks; hopefully it is something I can improve on one day. Thanks for understanding. I'll see you later," he heard Greg say.

"Who was that?" Nick asked him.

"I felt bad about leaving work abruptly yesterday so I called Grissom to explain myself."

"He was awake?"  
"You should know that man never sleeps," he laughed.

"So what did he say?"

"He said it was okay, that he understood. He told me I was doing fine with evidence collection and things so maybe I should just steer clear of the reports. But basically what that means is I can't ever work solo, which I guess I understand but it still sucks," he pouted.

Nick sympathized with him. "Yeah, it sucks but at least you can still work."

He sighed. "I guess so." He stared down at his hands.

"Did you sleep okay? You were up before me," he said as he went to grab a container of orange juice out of the refrigerator.

"Yeah I slept fine. I just woke up and thought I needed to clear the air so there would be no problems at work tonight," he explained.

"Okay, cool. Do you want something to eat?"

"Sure, whatever you are having is fine with me." He sat back on the couch and turned on the TV. He watched the news while waiting on Nick to come with brunch as they called it at that time of the day.

Nick was plating the omelets he made when he heard Greg say something. He looked up at him. "What?"

"On the news, they are talking about the upcoming trial. That's him," he replied, seeming in a daze and slightly pale.

Nick looked at the news report and immediately knew what he was talking about. They were showing James Brannon in a courtroom, in his prison orange jumpsuit with his lawyer. He grabbed the plates and brought them over to the coffee table and set them down before sitting next to Greg, whose eyes were fixed on the screen. He could not read his expression.

"I hope the fucker has had it rough in prison," Nick commented tersely.

"Jason and Aaron are going to testify they told me," Greg said with his eyes never leaving the television.

"Yeah, the DA is going for the Death Penalty." He looked over at Greg again, who seemed lost in thought now as they moved onto another story. "He's going to get life or death, no matter what. There are too many witnesses to what he did." He said hoping to comfort him.

Greg nodded slowly. Nick picked up the plate of food and held it in front of him. "You better eat this before it gets cold."

He finally looked down at it and then took it from Nick's hand. "Thanks. It looks good." He turned to him and gave him a small appreciative smile.

"You're welcome," he smiled back and then dug into his own omelet.

After a few bites, Greg spoke again. "You know I have not really seen him since I remembered some of that night. It was just sort of weird seeing him again. It brought back some of those memories again…fuzzy but there."

Nick gazed at him with some concern. "You are okay, though, right?"

"Yeah I am. I mean it has been what…like four and a half months now? I'm okay." He smiled at Nick again.

"I'm glad to hear it. Oh, there is something I did not tell you. I saw my parents the other day while you were sleeping. They were leaving town. My mom knows about my dad now."

"How did she seem?"

He sighed. "She seemed to be taking it all in stride. They want us, that is the both of us, to try to come out for one of the upcoming holidays."

Greg raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? So they are telling the rest of your family about us?"

"Yep, so I figured maybe around Thanksgiving if we both can get a day or two off."

"Hmmm, yeah I guess. I think my parents will be fine with that. They've had us the past few years and then just spent a lot of time here due to…well you know," he replied sheepishly.

"Yes, I do," he said with a small smile.

They both finished off their plates and relaxed back on the sofa. Greg had turned off the TV and put some music on instead. Nick put his arm around Greg's waist and pulled him closer to him. The lighter haired man put his head on the Texan's shoulder.

"So we are good again after all that happened yesterday?" he asked the older man.

Nick smiled. "We are good, very good. I like just being here like this, together."

"Yeah me too. Thanks for putting up with me through all of this. I wouldn't be here without you."

Nick kissed him on the forehead. "I would not want to be with anyone else. You are the only one for me, Greggo, no matter what."

"Glad to hear that," he grinned before gazing into those deep brown pools and then planting a kiss on his lover's lips.


End file.
